We who live this military wife life know that the holidays can be a touchy subject, to put it mildly. Just a quick scan of my military wife Facebook friends will tell me who is going home for the holidays, who has family visiting, whose husbands are deployed, who’s going away to an exotic location…you get the idea.

For my family, we were planning a nice quiet Christmas in our new home this year. We knew we’d just seen our extended family over the summer before we moved, so we weren’t expecting anyone to pony up for plane tickets so soon. As God’s timing would play out, our family is now going to be away from our new home for Christmas. I have an ear condition that requires surgery, so we are all flying together as a family so I can see the specialist. Also in God’s plan, we’ll be in a city where I have family on my dad’s side, some of whom I’ve never even met.

Some might say this is coincidence. I don’t. I say it’s God’s plan and timing.

Yes, even at Christmastime, when we’ll be away from the new home we’ve made, the new chapel community we’re just getting to know, and the new friends who have taken us into their hearts.

I am reminded of Mary and Joseph, who traveled away from home, and they didn’t even have family in Bethlehem to take them in during the busy census season!  That first day of Jesus’s birth, what we know as the first Christmas–His family wasn’t at home, either.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. (Luke 2:4-7)

So really, when I stop and think, Christmas isn’t the tree in my living room, or the presents we’ll be opening early to save room in our luggage, or even church on Christmas Sunday—although all those are truly blessings. Christmas is in our hearts, where the infant Jesus–Emmanuel, God with us–who became the Son of Man–the Lamb of God, our Savior–now resides.

In the words of the old hymn,

O come to my heart, Lord Jesus…
There is room in my heart for Thee. 

Popularity: 2% [?]

The past few weeks my leg has been nagging me when I run.

I say nagging because it’s not an intense pain, it’s a just-enough-to-make-it-annoying pain.

(I hear that’s what nagging is like. I wouldn’t know, though, because my husband actually LOVES it when I repeatedly bug him about things until he gives in. That’s not nagging. Nagging would be annoying…)

I needed to do a few things in order to deal with the pain. I needed new shoes and I needed to fix whatever was wrong that was causing my foot to cramp.

But I was putting it off. Shoes cost money. They cost time and effort of working them in. And, well, my old shoes were comfy.

I was also putting off figuring out why one leg hurt that much more than the other. Even though I have a friend who is a great chiropractor and has a practice very close to my home, going would mean costs and an adjustment that would possibly bring a little pain on the way to making it better. And not just one adjustment, but several to make sure it ‘took’.

Mostly because fixing it would mean effort.  Ignoring it would take no effort at all.

Then last week I got home and pulled up my left leg to stretch… and my right knee gave out.

Turns out, ignoring it all didn’t actually help. It made it worse. Who would have thought?

And so today, after I finally dragged my butt into the chiropractor this week, was adjusted and massaged and grounded from running for a bit, and after finally going and buying a new pair of shoes, I thought of something.

Looking at my old shoes, I can see now they are filthy and worn. They never looked really bad on their own, or next to other old shoes at the front door. In fact, compared to some shoes, they look pretty good. I could even think to myself   ‘see, they are not as bad as those shoes.’

But next to my new shoes, they look like a mess. They are covered in mud and the leather is cracking. They have way too much give where they should be holding my foot tighter. Worn down and compromising in all the places my foot pushes the hardest.  They might feel comfortable because I am used to them, but they are actually hurting my feet and stopping me from being able to run father.

And I realize that I have a lot of attitudes and behaviours that look like my old shoes.

Next to others like mine, they look fine. They might even look good. I might be able to think to myself ‘see, at least it’s not as bad as that!’. But hold it next to God and it’s a mess, covered in messy thoughts and way too much give and compromise when there should be challenge and conviction.

Attitudes and behaviors that feel comfortable because I am used to them, but that are actually hurting me and stopping me from being able to grow further in my walk with God.

And change, that would come at a cost.  It would mean letting Someone give me an adjustment that will probably hurt.  And chances are I wouldn’t just need one but several to make sure the change ‘took’.  Funny thing about muscles and attitudes, they are both really stubborn about change.

Most of all, change would mean effort.  And ignoring it takes no effort at all.

Until one day I have complete meltdown with tears streaming down my face in the car with a screaming 3 year old on the way to dance class and realize that ignoring it isn’t helping anything.   It’s actually made things worse.

And then and only then do I ever get around to putting the effort in to change the old, comfortable attitudes and behaviours that seemed like they were working until I looked at them next to Jesus.

The adjustments will hurt, but in the long run will make everything easier and let me grow closer to God and my family.

My chiropractor spends a lot of time explaining to me how my feet are connected to all these other muscles that are causing them pain.  (I pretend to understand but there are reasons I took Social Work in college and one big one is I didn’t have to take math or science.)

Apparently they are also connected to my attitude.

And I don’t think there are adorable little pink ice-packs for after those kinds of adjustments.  But I know He is there to hold my hand through it all.

Kim is a child of God who believes in Grace and is grateful that His mercies are new every morning.  I am a 30 year old wife of a soldier in the Canadian Army.  We’ve been married 10 years and have 3 amazing kids.  We have survived 3  deployments to Afghanistan as well as numerous other training and domestic operations.  While I went to school to be a Social Worker, right now attempting to mother my children is my full time job.  www.kimberleymills.blogspot.com

Popularity: 5% [?]