In this deployment (and the months leading up to it beginning) I have really felt God grow me and stretch me.  That has been my specific prayer since last January when we received word that Jason would be deploying again.

Deployment was not my plan.
It was not on my list.
Not even close.

This  prayer was not my intial response.  Its hard to re-live the thought of how I reacted.  It was not a reaction of a woman completely trusting a sovereign God.  It was not the reaction of a woman who had complete faith in the journey that He was placing me on. I recall asking why (a lot).  I know that God knew me and knew how I was hurting.  I knew He understood my questions, even though He wanted my complete trust in Him and not my questions.  And I slowly began to realize that it was not for me to question.  That I just needed to have complete faith in the One who determines that this was my journey.

And so I started praying for God to grow me and stretch me.  And He has–oh, He has.  He has taken me out of my comfort zone of complacency (how thankful I am for that).  He has opened a door for me through my position as Member Care Director for Wives of Faith–something I would not have ever been able to do on my own, but I know that it happened because I asked Him to grow me.  And He did.  What a blessing it has been to me.  I kept praying though.  Kept asking Him to grow me…to take me where He wanted me to go.

And He did.  Faithful provider, He did.

I felt an urging to start a Bible study with military spouses. I have never led a study before.  I always relied on others to do that.   I had no idea what to study.  No idea where to begin. I thought, Are you sure you have the right person for this? So I just prayed about that, not knowing that my friend Sara was already in the process of writing a Bible study aimed specifically at military spouses (you see where I am going with this…He is in every single detail!).  Then Sara contacted me asking me to proof the study before it was sent to the publishers…I knew just a couple pages into it that this was the study I needed to do.

As soon as Sara let me know the book was published I purchased my book and put the word out (via email, facebook, my blog) that I would be doing a study for military spouses facing deployment if anyone was interested in joining me (I was nervous that no one would contact me.  Its hard connecting with military spouses when your not active duty).  But they did.

There are about eight of us in the study.  It has been wonderful and we are only two sessions into it.  I cannot wait to see what is revealed to us.  Can not wait to hear what the other ladies are learning.  We met this past Friday night.  Our study lasted four hours! (we had no idea it was 11 pm…and probably would not have noticed if someone would not have called wondering where their mom was!).  It was amazing. It was four hours of reading and researching God’s word (I know, a bunch of women get together and you are probably thinking…mmhhhmmm sure, the whole four hours? but yes, it really was).  I look forward to sharing what I am learning.  Maybe I can even convince a couple of the ladies to do a guest post type of thing and get them to share.

In deployment, it is typical for me to have goals….lose weight, get things organized, pay off all debts except house (did that one in deployment #2), maybe re-do a room or two or three, save for a big vacation, etc. Those are a few of my goals.  I am working on a blog post to share those with you.  And while those things are all well and good, are they really what I want to accomplish?

When I look back at this deployment, do I want to just see a checklist of completed goals?  Or do I want to see something more?  What do I really want to accomplish?  The answer is simple (though the means to reach it may not always be easy).  The answer is I want to accomplish His work.  The work that He gave me to do so that in the end it is all for His glory and not about me.

So, let me take this time to encourage you.  No matter what your journey is, ask God to grow you in it.  You know that He is with you in the journey, now trust Him to take you somewhere you would never go on your own.  Trust Him to equip you to do His work.

Jessica is the Wives of Faith Member Care Director and mother of two. Visit her personal blog, which this post is excerpted from, at Just 4 Crows.

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