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Author Archive for Nikki

Getting Involved

Posted by Nikki on Wednesday, May 12th, 2010 in Faith | Comments (3)

As a Christian, I find it especially sad when I hear about another believer who is going/has gone through a time when they felt alone or unsupported.  Even beyond your relationship with the Lord and realizing that Christ is your ultimate supporter, we know that we have been created as relational beings and that, as Christians, we are called to build one another up, challenge each other to grow, and be unified in our callings under Christ.  Ladies, you know where I am going with this:  the CHURCH!  The church is supposed to provide a place where we are focused on seeking God, making friends, and reaching out/sharing Christ.

Have you ever listened to yourself or a Christian friend describing a church negatively with comments like the following:  the people there “didn’t reach out to me” or “didn’t serve me” or “I didn’t get fed” – sound familiar?

This view frustrates me.  There is a reason church leadership talks about “20% of the people doing 80% of the work” of the church.  I simply cannot understand the mindset where people think they can just show up for services on Sunday morning and “get fed” by the church in a Biblical way.  God says in the Bible that the church is for SERVICE.  Not the kind you listen to, but the kind you do!   This is my point:  as followers of Christ Jesus, we should ALL be involved in a church!  Remember why God gave us spiritual gifts?  To build up the church! (I am referring to the church as the people who make up the church, not an actual building!)  See 1 Corinthians 12 or 1 Peter 4:10.

Yes, you need to pick and join a church that suits you and that you feel comfortable in.  But let’s face it:  especially as military wives, we know we will not always find THE most amazing church in every duty station.  Some will seem better to us than others, just as friends we make in some places will be closer/dearer than others.  That is life.  However, you will be blessed by getting involved in a church wherever you go!

Especially if you feel lonely or like you have no support network, finding a church to get involved with and where you can serve will be such a help and an encouragement to you, not to mention the power of service/obedience to get your focus off of yourself and back onto God’s will for your life.  Yes, I know this will take time, but I would argue that taking the time to invest in others is worth it!

Do not sit in a church service and wait for someone to notice your feelings and reach out to you – this happens sometimes, but other times people are shy, or just can’t read your mind, or have their own concerns in the forefront of their minds that week – we are all human!  We all fail to take an interest in others the way we should.  Do not blame the church or grow bitter – get involved!  Go to a Sunday School class or a Bible study.  Find out what ministry could use some assistance and pray about where God would like you to serve – and then volunteer!  Serving the Lord means practicing obedience, which is faithfulness.  Growing closer to Him, and serving alongside/investing in others will help you to find that support you crave.  If we are faithful to His call to serve, He will bless us!  Perhaps you will not find the best friend you ever had at each subsequent duty station, but He will provide the support you need.  Seek Him and trust Him.

Personally, God has never failed to provide me with friends (not always best friends, but encouraging friends nonetheless!) and a support network when I made the effort to get involved in some type of ministry; whether in South America, Asia, Europe, a liberal university, or our current duty station, God has shown me time and time again that He is faithful and He will provide!

Let’s not be passive in church, ladies!  Let’s get involved!  And maybe you’ll find that not only does God bless you, but He uses you to reach out to that next lonely person (maybe even another military wife!) who needs to hear about Christ or needs to get involved, herself!  Get involved and let God use you!

“Now this I say, he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly,
and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.” – 2 Corinthians 9:6

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Nikki is married to an amazing man in the Navy.  She works in international affairs and adores warm weather.

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Never Alone

Posted by Nikki on Monday, April 12th, 2010 in Faith | Comments (2)

This is an awesome song by BarlowGirl, as well as the truth for those of us born again through Christ Jesus!  Unfortunately, it is all too easy to get wrapped up in little things happening in our lives and lose focus on God.  It’s easy to feel like we are alone; to “feel” as if God is not there.  We know the Bible says that Jesus is always with us, no matter what our emotions are doing to us, but we do not always embrace that truth and act like it.  Or, at least, I don’t always act like it!  Perhaps you have more success here than I do, in which case you should feel free to leave comments below about the secrets to your success!

In my weak moments, before I remember how blessed I truly am and am reminded of what real perspective is, I indulge in little pity parties and then wonder if the fact that I feel alone is evidence of weakness in my faith.  If I had more faith, would these moments of weakness become much more rare or cease to exist at all?

I think there is a difference between feeling alone and just missing your spouse.  No matter what, if my husband is gone, I am missing him.  Even when I’m having fun with girlfriends or something; I’m happy, but I still miss him.  He’s my other half, after all!  I think this is natural and healthy.

On the other hand, feeling far from God usually happens when I fall off the wagon of spending daily time in the Bible and in prayer.  It usually happens when I am more focused on the world and my own desires than I am on seeking God’s will for my life.  Or when I’m just being selfish!

I think this is a clear sign.  I cannot expect to feel close to someone I ignore – when has that ever worked?!  I cannot get lazy and just expect that God is going to give me warm fuzzy feelings all the time!  How would I ever grow?  But at the same time, God promises that even when I don’t feel Him, He is there.  He will never leave me or forsake me (promised in Deuteronomy 31:6 AND Hebrews 13:5).  He is my rock, my comforter, and He is always there when I wake up and run back to Him, remembering how much I need Him. Whenever I feel alone or discouraged and then turn to the Bible and prayer, I have been comforted.  This has honestly NEVER failed me.  We have only to seek Him, and He will answer.  Jesus wants a relationship with us!  And best of all, He does all of the work!  All we have to do is turn our hearts toward Him – seek Him!  He will answer!  Praise the Lord for His goodness, His grace, and His patience!  Heaven knows I require that limitless patience of His! ;-)

Have you ever tried going to read the Psalms or some other passage of the Bible and praying when you’re feeling alone or discouraged?  If you have, I’m willing to bet the Lord has never failed you in these times, either.  If you have never tried it, I encourage you to do so the next time you need some comfort.  There is none greater than our Lord!  I am faaaar from perfect, and if He is there for me, I know He is there for you, too!

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Nikki is married to an amazing man in the Navy.  She works in international affairs and adores warm weather.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

Posted by Nikki on Wednesday, March 24th, 2010 in Faith | Comments (1)

“God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid; He gave us a spirit of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7

If you think about it, fear serves only to tear you down, destroy relationships, prevent you from going after opportunities or trying new things.  Fear does not build anything.  Interesting that this bears such a resemblance to what we know about Satan, is it not?  (“The thief comes only to steal and destroy…” -John 10:10)  So if we are letting fear rule any area in our life, nothing good is going to come of it.

The Bible says that perfect love casts out fear.  If it is in the Bible it must be true, but what human have you ever met that loves perfectly?  What does that even look like?

I believe it looks like God.  It looks like Jesus.  It is the kind of love we are called to display to everyone we meet, not as a “try really hard even though you won’t get there” type of goal, but as a realistic commandment from our Father who has promised to give us the strength to do ALL things through Him.  This is the kind of love we ALREADY have from God.

I know we all “know” on some level that God loves us.  We learn this as children, we sing about it, we thank God for it.  But do we really allow it to sink in and affect our lives?

If we are living in fear, I believe the answer is “no.”

God gives a beautiful example of how much He loves us in Matthew 10:31.  He describes how well He cares for the sparrows, and then says how much more He loves us – His children! – than these lovely, simple birds of His creation.  You have probably read this passage before.  What did it mean for you?  If God loves you more than you can ever imagine, surely this makes some difference in your life, right?

God’s love means trust, and peace.  Not fear!  God’s perfect love means you do not have to fear rejection from other people, or wonder how you are going to afford another mouth to feed.  God’s love means accepting His promises; He will never leave you or forsake you!  He will never tempt you (or your husband) beyond what you can bear!  You do not have to fear what might happen to you, your husband or another family member during deployment – God has plans to prosper you and not to harm you – plans to give you hope and a future!

What would it look like in your life if you prayed to God to take away your fear, and replace it with faith and trust in Him?

For me, trusting God and praying that He will conquer my fear has meant a couple of things.  One, that I recognize Satan would like to use fear to paralyze me and keep me from doing anything.  Recognizing this fact and praying to God for the strength and faith to conquer fear really has worked!  The peace God gives my heart is amazing, and I know it is not coming from me.

Two, trusting God has given me a better sense of how to love the way God loves.  God’s love frees me from fear or insecurities in dealing with others, which in turn gives me courage to love boldly and without fear.  My husband, family and friends all benefit from this!  God is helping me to love my husband and other important people in my life unequivocally; my loving them does not depend on how they have treated me lately or how they might respond or what kind of mood they are in.  I have seen the effects most clearly with my husband, who is always thanking me for the love and encouragement I am trying to convey in our communication.  God is improving our marriage despite the distance.  All because I am trusting Him more.  It is exciting!

If you are letting fear rule any part of your life right now, I want to encourage you to look in God’s word for His promises to you.  Once you find and read one or a few of these, take some time to think about it, and PRAY about it.  Pray that God will help you to trust His promises and overcome that fear that’s taken root in your head.  Pray that God will give you peace and faith in His power to work things out for the best in your life.

Trust the Lord.  Perfect love – HIS love – casts out fear and our lives are so much better for it! :-)

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Nikki is married to an amazing man in the Navy.  She works in international affairs and adores warm weather.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Loving Others While He’s Deployed

Posted by Nikki on Friday, February 26th, 2010 in Deployment | Comments (1)

When I thought about the “love” topic for February on WOF, at first I thought of nothing but showing love to my husband.  I am sure this is pretty common, especially to young, relatively newly-married couples. :-)   Some of you probably have kids to take care of while your husband is deployed.  Some may have older family members requiring some form of daily care.  One thing I must admit I never really considered leading up to my marriage to a military man was how his parents would deal with his constant absences.

My husband left his parents’ home at 18 and except for visits, has always been thousands of miles away, so I just never really thought about how they might react to his deployment.  I know many of you can sympathize with having a mother-in-law (MIL) who has a hard time letting go of her son.  One of the many (!) things God is showing me during this time is that He will use the most unlikely people to help me grow!

I am blessed with a husband who has repeatedly said and demonstrated that, after God, I am his priority and our two-person family is our own, individual unit.  Praise God for my husband’s strength and wisdom here!  That said, we both want to honor our parents.  This issue is a tricky one, and often difficult – as evidenced by all of the MIL horror stories we hear about!

But I do not think this is just a MIL issue.  Chances are, most (if not all) of us have at least one difficult family member/relative.  Do you find this relationship gets more difficult when your husband is deployed?  Perhaps that person is a worrier, or perhaps you just find yourself more busy and with less time to help this particular relative, or perhaps you are simply not able to meet their needs.  You are not alone!

It is a difficult situation.  However, God does not call us to merely sit still and complain about difficult situations!  We are to show love – His love!  So while I may not feel completely comfortable with my MIL, I am still called to love her as the special lady God created her to be.  Actively, prayerfully, and in how I think of her – the attitude of my heart.

How we show this love usually depends on the person we are dealing with, as well as logistics; something like “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman might help you think about how you can best show this person love.

I am also learning that faithful prayer is so powerful!  Praying for someone’s good goes a long way towards helping to love them.  It also reminds me that God loves them.  So I have been praying pretty much daily (I will admit to having missed a day here and there) for my in-laws, as well as my own side of the family.

Finally, I made a list of my MIL’s good points – the things I appreciate the most about her.  And really, these are the things that matter.  It’s like when you get annoyed or upset with your mom or your best friend; you can’t stay that way because the person is too special and too important to you.  You love them.  This is the work that God is doing in my heart as I seek His help and wisdom.  Really, this is the way I should love everyone – focusing on their good, and the fact that they, too, are created in the image of God!

It may be baby steps, but God sees my heart, my motivation, and my efforts to seek Him.  A total transformation, and an ability to love more like Christ, will take time.  Because really, the goal is to let go of my self and let God’s love shine through me.  I am seeking a kind of love for others that is not human, so it has got to come from the Lord.

God will use every opportunity to help us grow and mature, if we let Him.  He tells us in Philippians 2:4 to look to the interests of others.  Even if it is not your MIL, most of us have at least one difficult family member.  I believe God wants us to let Him use that unlikely person to help us grow.  And what a witnessing opportunity!  Like anything else in life, we get better at this with practice.  I want to glorify God with my actions, so here goes.  One step, and one day, at a time.  I praise God that He is big enough to shine through my weaknesses and bring glory to His name!

Are there any difficult people in your life that you struggle to show love?  Do you find that it is worse while your husband is deployed?  How has/is God helping you in this situation?

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Nikki is married to an amazing man in the Navy.  She works in international affairs and adores warm weather.

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Joy in All Circumstances

Posted by Nikki on Wednesday, February 17th, 2010 in Hope | Comments (1)

“Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death.
When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your love, O Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation, brought joy to my soul.”
Psalm 94:17-19 (NIV)

Recently I went with some others from my Sunday School class to take food to a homeless shelter and participate in a Bible Study. There was a snowstorm outside. We made dinner, took it to the shelter, served everyone there as well as some people on the street, and then sat down with everyone who wanted to join in a Bible Study led by one of our group. No one was forced to participate.

The people staying at the shelter have had some very difficult lives. They have dealt with unstable families and substance abuse, loss of material possessions and loss of loved ones. They have dealt with plenty of troubles which could have led them to become bitter.

And yet, these were some of the sweetest people I have ever met! They were grateful that we brought food, they were welcoming, they were gracious. Some of them were believers in Christ, and during the Bible study when they shared what God had been putting on their hearts, I was so impressed by their faith and trust in God! They knew His hope and trusted Him for their futures. They had joy in their circumstances.

I was humbled when we left that night. Certainly, we all have hardships. But to be honest, I have been blessed by God BIG-time, and I know it! So why do I sometimes let myself get bogged down in a pity-party because I have a bad day or because my husband is gone for a few months? Is my God not still with me? Yes. Is He still blessing me? Yes. Do I have hope and joy through Christ, guaranteed for eternity? Yes! Okay…so why do I sometimes indulge in my pity-parties? Because I’m selfish, and sometimes I just lose sight of the big picture.

My husband is actually really great at keeping a big picture perspective. When I’m with him, I can always count on him to bring my focus back to the big picture, a more “eternal” point of view. With him gone, I am learning to look to God for this perspective. I am grateful that He has made clear to me yet another strength and admirable quality in my mate, while at the same time showing me that HE is the one that truly provides this perspective, this wisdom. Recognizing what God has done in my life goes a long way towards helping to rekindle the joy James 1 tells me I should be aware of in difficult circumstances, because this joy is from God – regardless of my circumstances! So the next time I feel down because I am missing my husband, I am simply going to focus on God and count my blessings! And remember those joy-filled homeless people praising God in the snowstorm.

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Nikki is married to an amazing man in the Navy.  She works in international affairs and adores warm weather.

Popularity: 1% [?]

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