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A God Move

Posted by Shamberly on Monday, December 20th, 2010 in Faith | Comments (11)

“We’re moving WHERE??” The words stumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them, almost immediately followed by the tears I was fighting with everything in me to hold back.

My husband had walked in the door and in the time it would have taken him to say, “Hi Baby, I’m home.” and tell me about his day, he announced that he had received orders to PCS.

Now, given, I’d known it was coming. We’d been at his current duty station for just over 4 years, and it was definitely time. It wasn’t the moving that was the problem. It was the location. We had been told so many different places, all of which I thoroughly researched and was mentally prepared for, but then, when he came home with the news that we were going somewhere completely unforeseen, I was a little shell shocked. I wasn’t prepared for that.

I put on my game face and excused myself to the bathroom. I locked the door, walked over to the far corner, and began to bawl my eyes out as quietly as possible. Countless thoughts were stampeding through my head: What are we going to do there? We are going to be thousands of miles from our friends/family… How long will it be before we are able to see them again? No one is ever going to want to visit us there! We were supposed to be going to Hawaii – at least people desire to go there. We’re going to be in the middle of nowhere! How could this have happened?! Then, I just fell apart.

God knows I am a planner. I like to know what’s going to happen when and how long it’s going to last. I’m not the type of person who just gets in my car and drives around to get lost, just for the adventure. I can go with the flow – when I plan to do it ahead of time – and it’s hard for me to step back and let someone else take the reins, especially in this military life when my husband is here and there, home, then gone, then home again. Having a plan is what helps me stay sane amidst all of the chaos.

But this was not in my plan. There has to be some mistake . . . and then, God said, “No.”

Umm… Excuse me, Lord, but could you repeat that? I don’t think I heard You right. So, He said it again. “No.” I grimaced. “No,” Lord? Really? You can’t be serious. I mean, do You realize where they are sending us? This is not exactly a prime spot. It’s not ideal at all. In fact, forget ideal - it wasn’t even an idea at all until it became our reality. This isn’t fair. I don’t want to go there. Why do we have to go there, Lord? You could easily change this; after all, You are the one in control – not the Army. You are far greater and much more powerful than them. You could easily change a few words on a piece of paper! You are the one who orchestrates where we go. You’re just using the Army as a tool to get us to where You want us to be.

“Exactly.”

Silence.

Cue the chirping crickets.

Well, if that didn’t hit me straight between the eyes! In my argument with God, I’d lost my own case. As much as I did not want to go to my husband’s next designated duty station, God reminded me that He is ultimately the One in control. Yes, the Army issued orders for my husband to PCS to a specific place, on a specific date, and for a [semi] specific time. But, God is the orchestrator of those orders. He is the writer; the Army is just His current choice of pen.
God reminded me that throughout the course of our marriage, He has taken us exactly where we needed to be, and, despite my own issues adjusting (mostly by allowing myself to hold on to a negative attitude instead of opening my eyes and my heart and allowing God to show me what He had for us), everywhere we have gone has been exactly where we needed to be in order to grow stronger in our spiritual walk. He isn’t going to just drop us now.

I was overwhelmed with stress, fear, sadness, and disappointment when I first found out where we were going. But, God tore down the walls I’d immediately begun building around my heart, and He gave me this verse:

“If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will quide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.” – Psalm 139:8-10

I was faced with the unknown, once again in this military life, but not really. Yes, my surroundings would be new, but God would still be there; and as always, all I’d have to do is look at Him. He will make His presence known by continuing to work in my life the way He always has. Yes, the people there will be new, but God will be the familiar face in the crowd. He will show Himself to me through other people, and as every new friendship is forged, I will be reminded that He is there, intricately weaving our lives together in his magnificent tapestry. Yes, I will be out of my comfort zone, but God will forever be my source of comfort.

Once God made it clear to me that He truly was – is – in control, peace overtook the fear and anxiety I had initially felt, and as we began making preparations for the move, excitement replaced it all. Instead of being afraid of the unknown(s) and wanting nothing but planned familiarity, God gave my heart new desires (Psalm 37:4). He filled me with an insatiable hunger for that which He was preparing for us in this new destination.

To think I almost tainted a miraculous journey to this new adventure just by losing sight of the fact that God is in control… What wonderful blessings I would have missed out on. You see, as I am writing this, we are already at our new duty station. The PCS is over and we have, for the most part, settled in (despite the countless boxes that are still lining the walls of our house). In fact, as of yesterday, we have been here for one full month. In that time, God has answered many prayers by bringing some new Christian friends into our lives, by helping us to be able to worship together as a family more, and by opening the door for Bible study with new friends. He has blessed us in so many ways; I could spend days sharing them all, but I won’t. Instead, I will just say that God truly is in control and He has made it evident that we are exactly where He wants us to be, as He has paved the way and made a place for us here, just as He is doing in his Heavenly Kingdom. And while we may not know His specific purpose behind this move yet, I know that He is at work in our lives, and whatever He does is nothing but good.

Are you trusting Him today? Are you trusting that He is working “…all things together for good…” because He has “called you to His purpose” (Romans 8:28)? What is stopping you from trusting Him? What is holding you back from stepping out in faith and allowing Him to carry out His plan for you today? Are you going to force Him to drag you kicking and screaming (literally or figuratively) to the destination He has chosen for you – the place where you need to be in order for Him to bless you most abundantly? Or are you going to just give in to Him, and let Him lead you, trusting that He does actually know what He’s doing, and knowing that His desire is for your ultimate good? He has His best waiting for you. All you have to do is let go of your inhibitions, give up that hindering desire to be in control, and accept it.

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Hindering Help

Posted by Shamberly on Monday, November 22nd, 2010 in Faith | Comments (0)

It was one of “those” days. You know the ones I’m talking about – the days when Murphy’s Law (if anything can go wrong, it will) seems to be carrying out sentencing in every aspect of your life.

I was exhausted after waking even earlier than usual after a restless night of tossing and turning, getting up and down with the kids, trying to get the dog to stop barking, and just simply having too much on my mind.

I had two toddlers to wake up and get ready and appointments to get to (of course they were scheduled on the one day both of my kids would have actually slept in). There was a ton of cleaning, organizing, and cooking to do for an event we were hosting in our home. I had an abundantly overflowing list of things that simply needed to get done.

I went about my day with my kids in tow, and other than a few minor “meltdowns,” by the time we returned home that afternoon, I was pleasantly surprised at the fact that all the appointments and errands and running around seemed to go smoothly after all.

We came in, and I got the kids settled in their rooms, playing happily, so I could begin making dinner. I asked them not to drag too many toys out – to keep their rooms clean – because right after dinner they were going to get a bath and get ready for bed. I came downstairs to start cooking, and finish up some laundry. I was scrambling around, trying to get multiple tasks done, in hopes of pleasing my husband with a “spotless” house and a delicious dinner when he came in from work. And then the phone rang.

I’m pretty sure I spent close to an hour talking business and trying to work out important details of our upcoming move (a PCS)… By the time I got off the phone, dinner was almost burned, and I realized that the kids had been much too quiet for far too long, and hurried to go check on them.

As I began climbing up the stairs, our three year old, Garrett, popped his head out of his room, and with a huge smile on his face, he proudly announced, “Mom, c’mere! I want to show you something. I cleaned our rooms!”

For a moment, my heart just leaped out of my chest! I was so thrilled, thinking that he had finally reached a point where I wouldn’t have to stand next to him walking him through the cleaning process every time his toys need to be picked up, etc. True, my hopes were a little high considering he was just barely 3 years old, but I figured that at the very least, his cars and Laurelai’s play food would be picked up off of the floor. I couldn’t help but think “How sweet is that?!” as he explained that he wanted to clean to help me because I had so much to do. Isn’t that adorable???

At least, I thought it was – until I actually got upstairs and was able to see the kids’ newly “cleaned” rooms…

Garrett had found full bottles of water ~ where they were, I will never know ~ and decided the rooms needed a bath. So, he proceeded to empty each bottle of water out all over both of their beds – including all of their bedding, pillows, stuffed animals, pajamas, carpet, etc… Everything was drenched.

Then, he decided the windows needed to be cleaned. Unfortunately, the curtains and blinds were in the way, so in order to move them, he apparently hung on the curtains until the rod bent in half so much it broke, and then he pulled the string for the blinds and tied them to his sister’s crib. He may only be three, but with all the time it took me to untie that knot, he could be an Eagle Scout!

The wall decals I had just purchased for the rooms had been stripped out of the box and were stuck all over the carpet (I’m talking over 50 pieces here!), many being torn and un-useable…  Toys were everywhere… Sopping wet bedding was draped over everything he could possibly reach… and on top of it all was a fresh coat of white baby powder from a brand new bottle (which was now empty) that had been on top of the changing station. It was a complete disaster!!!

I didn’t even know where to begin! On one hand, he sincerely thought he had done a good thing, and his heart’s desire was to surprise me by doing something “helpful.” On the other hand, he had made a humongous mess, and the thought of all the work that would be necessary to clean it up was completely overwhelming. I just wanted to cry…

As I stood there just staring at the incredible amount of chaos that had ensued, growing more upset and frustrated with each glance around the room, I heard that “Still Small Voice” whisper, “You do this same thing to me all the time…”

Wait. What?? Did I hear that right? Excuse me, Lord, but what did You just say to me?? I don’t do this. I don’t make big messes and tear things up. That’s ridiculous.

“Is it? What about the time you jumped the gun and took a position that wasn’t yours to take just for certain reasons of your own? You took the opportunity that I had for someone else, and missed out on the opportunity I had for you. That choice affected everyone involved, and in the end, you ended up hating the position you were in… Or, what about the time you…” I interrupted… Ok, Lord, I get it.

I DO do this fairly regularly… I squirmed for a moment as I choked down a slice of humble pie.

I mean, how many times do we “get ahead” of God, taking control, and trying to do things our way? How often do we get in a rush and decide the “right” way to do things, and then jump into it, basically leaving God sitting in the dust on the sidelines.

We forget that God’s plan is the best one for us. Like Garrett did with “cleaning,” he assumed his way was right and good and best, but in the end, it ended up creating a bigger mess than what was there to start with.

Habakkuk 2:3 says, “For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfillment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day.”

God’s timing is perfect. He has a plan that we are a part of, but His original, preferred, perfect plan can only be carried out if we choose to follow Him – if we choose to trust God and His timing. We must learn to wait on the Lord.

Oh sure, He can work around us. God can carry out His will regardless of us. He doesn’t need us or our obedience. But, He wants it. Besides, do you really want to be someone that God just has to work around? I don’t. Though that is exactly what I had been choosing to be all along, without even realizing it.

“For we are God’s handiwork, recreated in Christ Jesus, that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live].” Ephesians 2:10

The wonderful, amazing, merciful, loving God of the universe took the time to plan out a purposeful life for each and every one of us. Just as I gave my children guidance and direction to keep their rooms clean, God gives us directions as to what to do and what not to do in order to follow His plans for us. However, just as my children had the ability and the opportunity to make their own choices about what to do, we are also able to decide for ourselves whether or not to follow God.

The problem is, many times, like my son did, we stop following the basic directions we are given and take matters into our own hands. We get an idea in our heads about what is right and what needs to be done and when/how the task needs to be carried out, and we proceed forth and act on that idea, too impatient to pray and wait and listen for God’s guidance. We become so convinced that we are doing a good thing, we lose sight of God’s direction, not realizing that while our “thing” might be good, God’s “thing” is better. In fact, His is best. And we fool ourselves into missing out on His best…

I once heard Beth Moore tell a story about she and her husband taking a walk together down an old dirt road near their home. As they were walking, they came to the bottom of a small hill with a large mud puddle at the bottom, and in this puddle were several little ducks – ducklings, really – bathing, playing, and splashing in the water. It wasn’t deep enough for them to swim in, but it served their purpose. After watching the ducks for a few minutes, Beth and her husband continued up the hill and as they reached the top, a beautiful lake came into view. The water was blue and calm and enticing… The trees around it were green and so inviting; there was a slight breeze gently blowing across the water, and the sun was just beginning to set on the other side… It was simply majestic. God’s handiwork at its finest… They stood there for a moment and just took it all in. Then they remembered the ducks they had just seen at the bottom of the hill, splashing in the mud puddle. Those little ducks saw the hill they would have to get over and decided that the puddle was good enough for them. They had already reached it, and again, it did serve their purpose. They were able to wash and play and get a drink, but in reality, had they been willing to wait just a little longer and go just a little farther, they would have had the magnificent lake at their feet… Little did they know…

What are you choosing today? Are you choosing to be patient? Are you choosing to wait on the Lord, and follow His lead? Or are you choosing to settle for the muddy puddle at the bottom of a hill, flagging others passing by to join you, basking in the mediocrity? Are you God’s faithful servant, or are you a hindering “help” to Him? I don’t know about you, but I want to see the masterpiece God can make of my life – as long as I choose to follow His brushstrokes.

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD, and He delighteth in his way.” ~ Psalm 37:23 … “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11 … “Trust in the LORD and do good… Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it… Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him… Wait for the LORD and keep His way, And He will exalt you to inherit the land;” ~ Psalm 37:3-7, 34

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Slowing Down

Posted by Shamberly on Monday, July 12th, 2010 in Faith | Comments (3)

I’d like to extend a warm welcome to Shamberly, the latest member of our blog team!

She’d like to share a post she wrote on her own blog “Reflections of a Butterfly.”

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A couple of days ago, my husband misplaced the keys to his truck. We have searched everywhere we can think of, both in and out of the house, in the vehicles, the garage, everywhere. The first day they went missing, it was no big deal. I figured I could skip my errands for one day – what would it hurt? – and he could just take my car to work. I could search for his keys, and being the “wonder woman” I am (HAHAHA), I would have them tracked down and laid in plain sight for him by lunch time. Unfortunately, by the end of that first day, his keys were still missing. I’d checked everywhere again: They were not in the dog’s area, or the refrigerator, or in the pockets of his clothes, or on the bookshelf, the work bench, or the bottomless pit commonly referred to as our couch. Where could they be?

So, once again, my darling husband had to drive my vehicle in to work, which probably wouldn’t be so bad, except for the fact that on a good day, it takes him at least an hour to get to work – throw in the rush hour he normally faces, and that time can double. Not to mention the fact that he is in the Army (for those of you who don’t already know), which means his work day often begins at 6 a.m. – and I’m not talking ‘wake up’ here ~ that is often what time he has to arrive at work, which means leaving the house by 4:30 or 5:00 a.m., at the latest. I suppose I could wake up with him, get the kids out of bed 3 – 4 hours earlier than usual, get ready, drive him to work, then drive home so I can have a vehicle for the day, and just pick him up again at the end of the day, and battle rush hour for the 2nd time on the way home. HA. Haha. Hahaha. NOT going to happen! Call me lazy, but I would much rather lay in bed for an extra hour or two!

Inevitably, though, once he leaves for work and the day goes on, I find myself growing antsy. I have had to readjust – well, cancel, if you want to get technical – my plans for a couple of days now. I have errands that need running, and things that need to get done, that I just can’t do without a vehicle. And it is frustrating.

As I dig through the couch for the ump-teenth time, my irritation continues to grow, and I begin talking to myself, saying things like, “He has got to learn to be more responsible. This is ridiculous. How can an entire set of keys just disappear?! I can’t believe he doesn’t know where he left his keys! The kids better not be hiding them ~ if they are, it’s gonna mean one MAJOR time out! I bet the dog ate them… Dumb dog… I hope we didn’t throw them away. WHERE ARE THOSE KEYS?!”

And, then, it hits me.

Maybe, just maybe, this is a God detail.

You see, for the past few weeks, our family has been very busy. I have run myself ragged trying to prepare for upcoming events, help friends/family, participate in things which we have committed to, and just trying to keep up with everyday life ~ the house, the kids, the pets… Occasionally, my husband and I have been able to work in a minute or two here and there where we could at least say hello for the day. That sounds awful, but it’s true. The past few weeks have been incessantly busy, to the point where our time together had been pretty much non-existent. That’s when I realized that my time with God had been the same.

I sat silently in shame as I realized that with as little quality time as I’d been spending with my husband, I’d spent even less with God. I had been so caught up in fulfilling duties, participating in events, and just doing “stuff”, that I had been neglecting the two most important relationships in my life, and I still had more plans, more things on my agenda. I wasn’t slowing down, and… God knew how much I needed to.

Looking back over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed that I have been sleeping so much less, and not well when I do. I have felt physically weak, tired, and at times, ill. I have been short tempered, stressed, frustrated, scatterbrained, forgetful, and overwhelmed. I have felt disconnected from those closest to me, and as if I am simply unable to catch up and keep up with everything from chores to people. I realized that I have been trying to consume an entire six course meal at once, rather than taking things one plate at a time and savoring each individual dish.

As I sat there, with my hands still stuck in the couch and these realizations flooding my mind, God spoke to my heart and I knew that the keys were missing for a reason. It wasn’t some big inconvenience that just randomly occurred. It was God’s way of forcing me to slow down so I could hear Him again. He forced me into the position where I would have no choice but to say, “No, I’m sorry I can’t do ___ today because I do not have a way to get there” and I would have no choice but to stay at home with nothing to do except spend time with my children, doing the things I’d neglected around the house, and in those quiet moments before they wake up in the mornings, just to “Be still and know that [He is] God”…

I am so thankful that He cares enough about me that He would “ruin” my plans and replace them with His… Because His are so much better.

So often, in today’s world, we feel as though we must be “wonder woman”, doing everything perfectly and with ease; without tiring, without frustration, without complaint. But, doing “everything” is not a real possibility. We want to succeed and be the best at everything, making everyone around us happy, or awing people with our abilities, talents, and skills. And when we inevitably fail at one or several things, we feel guilty… shameful… inadequate…We lose sight of the fact that no one is the best at everything, and no one can do it all.

But God… It’s amazing how those two little words can give such hope… The phrase “But God” appears at least 43 times throughout Scripture (according to the KJV Bible). In each instance, it is an example of some way man physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually fails or is lacking… But God… But God always restores. God fills in our gaps with His goodness, His mercy, His grace, His strength. He provides us with what we do not have, and what we have no means to obtain. He prospers us when all we can do is fail. He stands by us, leads us, guides us, loves us, protects us, completes us… And He lets us rest in Him… Matthew 11:28 says, “Come unto me, all who are weary and heavy laden, for I will give you rest.”

I forgot that recently. I forgot to go to Him. I forgot to rest in Him.

While the world tells us that we should be able to “do it all”, God, instead, has a more specific thing(s) He calls us to do. That is where He wants our focus ~ on carrying out His will for us. He equips us to do whatever He calls us to do, therefore, as long as we give our best to what we are called to do – to Him, we will succeed. But if we don’t spend time with God, resting in Him, talking with Him, listening to Him… we will never learn what it is He is calling us to do. Instead, we will spend our time exhausting ourselves trying to find the fulfillment that only comes from following His will and satisfying the purpose He has set before us.

So now, I am taking the time to rest; I’m taking the time to rest in Him. I am spending time with my God. I am spending time resting in Him, allowing Him to restore my soul. Becoming rejuvenated and realizing that it’s ok to not be “busy”. It’s ok to say “no” sometimes, because one plate at a time is all we are equipped to handle. More than any event or activity, more than visiting others or running errands or accomplishing tasks… Spending time with God is what will make us whole. It is what will sustain us. It is what will give us peace. It is what will keep us sane and positive. It is what will bring us the greatest joy…

Don’t waste your time failing at doing it all. It is just not worth the cost. Instead, slow down, and take some time with God, because in Him, success is always found.
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This post previously published here: http://butterflyreflections319.blogspot.com/2010/05/slowing-down.html

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