“Be very careful, then, how you live
-not as unwise but as wise,
Making the most of every opportunity
Because the days are evil.”
Ephesians 5:15-16 Read More→
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“Be very careful, then, how you live
-not as unwise but as wise,
Making the most of every opportunity
Because the days are evil.”
Ephesians 5:15-16 Read More→
Popularity: 3% [?]
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14 Read More→
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By Stephanie Arredondo, Board Treasurer
As we as a nation celebrate Memorial Day weekend, I am reminded of those silently celebrating our heroes. There are our fellow sisters in Christ whose best friend has made the ultimate sacrifice. We Wives of Faith know that this is part of the deal when our husbands committed to the military. It is our duty to stand by his side and to love, support and encourage him as he does his job.
Yet who is there when he comes home the way we least expect? United Warrior Survivor Foundation (UWSF) is the only non-profit organization dedicated to serving the needs of surviving spouses of Navy, Army, Air Force and Marine Corps Special Operations killed in the line of duty since September 11, 2001. What makes this group unique is that they invite surviving spouses and their children to their 4-day conferences and pay for all the expenses. The goal is to provide peer to peer mentorship, survivor transition assistance and bereavement counseling. USWF always includes surviving families in daily prayer. It is a wonderful opportunity for surviving spouses and their families to adjust to a new chapter in their lives and get the support that they need.
If your spouse was not in Special Operations yet you are a surviving spouse, then there are other means of support through Military. Com, chaplains and others.
While I cannot imagine this new chapter in your life, I do know that God will give you the strength that you need. If you think “Oh You Don’t Know What I Go Through,” I do. Back in college, my college sweetheart was in a boating accident and did not make it. Granted, we were not married, but it was in the works. Losing him changed my whole world. I grieved and cried. I got angry because life did not seem fair. I could not believe that God could let this happen, and I was mad at God for a long time. Psalm 23 helped me some, but it was reading Acts 2:25-28, Romans 5:3-5, I Corinthians 13 , and Colossians 3:8-11 that time allowed me to heal. Prayer allowed me to seek God, forgive Him and renew a relationship with Him. Journaling eased my pain of anger and depression, and I always had to write it in a letter style of Dear God, Today… and sign it Love, Me. It took a long time for the pain to subside. Time has a way of healing. I eventually got back into life. Some things worked out. Some things did not and that pain was tough at first. Then, I dated and met my best friend for life, my current husband. I never dreamed that I could find love again. I had to let go in order to be whole and move on with my life as new chapters emerged whether I wanted to or not. God was there the whole way. If I went down a road that was not good, God was there to guide me.
Today is a new day, and I am grateful for the Present. God gives you strength in ways you least expect if only you will seek Him. If you seek prayer, support or encouragement for this dark period in your life, please contact me or other military spouses so that we may pray for you and your family as you walk this new chapter in your life. I pray that you will seek the support of your military chaplain and others. You are not alone. While we never want to see a military spouse welcome her husband home this way, we are bonded in a way that few understand.
Stephanie Arredondo is Board Treasurer for Wives of Faith and writes a blog – Alfa Sugar – that lends financial perspective in modern America from one military spouse.
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Psalm 50:15 “Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.”
Given the recent hype in the news about a government shutdown, it’s lending to financial stress upon military families, especially for those with deployed loved ones. Politicians are making news with their ideas and comments. The Department of Defense is cautious. Critics of the federal government and the military are surfacing with more harsh words. Cutbacks in the military could occur at a time that the U.S. economy is in the early stage of a recovery. Consumer sentiment is cautious as oil and food prices rise based on inflationary influences. Perhaps the home situation is challenged with loved ones searching for employment. Stress is high for many these days, and yet is it a reminder to tune out this static and tune in to the One who delivers us without fail?
God has a unique way of capturing our attention. While the politicians and others determine what’s to occur with government issues that are beyond our control, it is important for military families, especially military wives, to pray and focus on what God needs us to focus on.
Mahlon Hetrick of Christian Financial Counseling wrote the book, Family Money Management God’s Way, and he addresses how most people do not know how to find abundance in their budgets and are not listening to what God has to say. (Hetrick, 19) Perhaps the politicians would benefit from this wisdom as well, but the fact remains that if you are not tuning in to God, then you are neglecting an opportunity to honor Him.
For short term military money matters, it is good to consider the following:
For long term military money matters, it is good to consider the following:
Psalm 50:15
If you and your husband need a moral boost, it is wise to post Bible quotes or slogans to help you during this financially stressful era in our country’s history. Just Do It! Adjust your attitude from Can’t live without it to I can get along without it!
While there is no easy solution today, there is the One who without fail will be there and will provide the calm. He will deliver us from this financial challenge. He wants us to be blessed if only we will seek Him, live within our means and adjust our attitude through our finances. We must honor Him to all Glory and Honor, Amen!
Stephanie Arredondo is Board Treasurer for Wives of Faith, has years of experience and knowledge in the industry and writes a blog - Alfa Sugar – that lends financial perspective in modern America from one military spouse.
Disclaimer: This article is the opinion of the person writing it, and any financial decision made as a result does not make the writer or Wives of Faith liable for any action taken. Please consult your personal financial advisor for more information.
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Recently, I read Deanna McClary’s story titled Commitment to Love written in 1989. It’s about her marriage and how she and her husband overcame so much in their early years of a military marriage. Back during the Vietnam War, her husband was a LT USMC fighting a serious battle when the enemy ambushed and attacked his team. Struck by a grenade, he lost an eye, an arm and suffered severe wounds all over his body. Ironically, he and his bride were married shortly before he deployed for a combat zone. Their marriage prevailed over high statistics against them. 60-80% of men wounded in combat with such severe and physically debilitating wounds watch their wives or girlfriends leave them OR they drive her away because of this traumatic change.
Disability comes in many forms, and becoming a disabled veteran is a challenge that many hope will not become a reality.
When you marry your spouse, you love him. That commitment before God is huge. When war comes home in the form of a physically changed husband, it takes time to adjust and a lot of love. God is at work here in ways you least expect. Parents, family and friends are challenged, but even more so does the spouse have to adjust to a new chapter in marriage. Because of the disability, you may have to work to support the family rather than your husband. You may not be able to conceive and have a baby with this person. You will be tempted to have an affair. You will be a caregiver in ways you had not anticipated when you said I do. There will be financial strain as unforeseen medical bills or other needs must be met. You will cry in a closet or away from him because the pain of watching him suffer is unbearable.
While there are various nonprofit groups and organizations for veterans such as the Disabled Veterans Association (DAV), the Association for Service Disabled Veterans (ASDV), DOD Veterans and Iraq Veterans Memorial (New!), it’s clear that there is more to uncover regarding God, Marriage and Disabled Veteran. That is why Deanna’s book struck me as a magnificent outreach to so many. Portrait of an American Hero is a documentary film about Clebe McClary. His book is Living Proof. A dear church couple received autographed copies of these books at a marriage conference and shared these wonderful reads with my husband and I. This is an amazing military marriage that has prevailed.
“I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” John 10:10b ESV
If you are dealing with a spouse wounded in combat or in other ways, it is important to revisit why you married your husband and review your marriage vows taken before God. Until death do us part is a road all of us married people take without realizing the rocky terrain, u-turns, or roads blown up causing us to change course entirely. We assume cruisin’ down the highway and stop’n’go as we please when the reality is different.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
In Sara Horn’s Tour of Duty study, we are reminded in the Introduction about how the possibility arises when your husband may return home in either a casket or wounded physically and/or emotionally. Military personnel returning from a combat zone deal with post-traumatic issues even if they were not physically wounded. If you are a military spouse preparing for your husband’s deployment, below is a prayer that may give comfort. If you haven’t already joined a Wives of Faith chapter, I recommend that you seek one for support, encouragement and connection with other military spouses.
A Military Spouse’s Prayer
(Author Unknown)
Lord,
Give me the strength of heart to see
The difference in duty and his love for me
Give me the understanding to know
That when duty calls, he must go
Give me the patience to know in my heart
That he is serving his country and doing his part
Give me the strength to carry on
When he’s working late or must be gone
Give me a task to do each day
To fill the time while he is away
Give me others who can share
The ups and downs and who’ll really care
Give me the wisdom to get me through
When I’m not quite sure of what to do
And Lord, while our family is here
Keep us healthy, safe and full of cheer.
Amen.
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