This week we are talking about our husband’s past. A lot of things from the past can affect our futures. A lot of things from the past are carried into our marriages. This is why it is so important to pray for our husband’s past. We may think we know everything about him, but we may not know how those things in the past have affected him, and how it affects him every day.
“The past should not be a place where we live, but something from which we learn. ‘Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus‘ (Philippians 2:13-14). God is a redeemer and a restorer. We need to allow him to be both. He can redeem the past and restore what was lost. He can make up for the bad things that have happened (Psalm 90:15). We must trust Him to do those things. We can never move out of the present into the future of what God has for us if we cling to and live in the past.”
“Your husband’s past not only affects him, it affects your offspring as well. More is passed down to your children and grandchildren than just the color of your hair and eyes. We can leave a legacy as painful and damaging as the one we experienced ourselves. We can bequeath a heritage of divorce, anger, anxiety, depression, and fear, to name a few. Whatever you and your husband can free yourselves from will mean more freedom for them. As long as you dwell in the past, you not only lose some of what God has for your future, but for your children’s future as well.”
I so agree with what Stormie is saying, because I have seen it happen in my own family. My dad did not have a very loving father. His father was very mean, critical, and verbally abusive. My father brought that into his own marriage and sadly did a lot of the same things. It affected (and is still affecting today) my mom, my brothers, and myself, and my parent’s marriage ended in divorce. But the thing that has made a difference to me, is not living in the past. Not thinking about all the things that happened before, and how they may have “ruined” my life, but looking to change things not only for myself, but for my husband and son as well. I do not have to follow in my family’s footsteps, I can choose to make a difference, and determine that our family will not be the same.
I have learned from the mistakes of the past, and moved on to face a brighter future, and you can too! No matter what your past is, and no matter what your husband’s past may be, God knows it all, and you can both pray about it and determine to change and make a change so that you will not carry it on and so your children will not carry it on. It takes, faith, patience, and hard work, but it will be worth it to break free from the chains of the past. If you have a husband who has had a bad past, pray for him. God knows exactly what he is going through, and God knows EXACTLY how to help him. Only He can heal those hurts, not you. And when he does your family with be on a path to a more beautiful future, and a beautiful legacy as well.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” -Jeremiah 29:11
“The events of your husband’s past that most affect his life today probably occurred in his childhood. Bad things that happened or good things that didn’t happen with family members are the most significant. Being labeled in a certain way by a relative or peer carries over into adulthood. Such words as ‘fat,’ ‘stupid,’ uncoordinated,’ ‘failure,’ ‘poor,’ ‘looser,’ ‘slob,’ ‘four-eyes,’ ‘slow,’ or ‘idiot’ take their toll and imprint themselves into the mind and emotions well into adulthood. While no one can pretend the past didn’t happen, it’s possible to pray that all the effects of it are removed. No one is destined to live with them forever.”
“God says we are to cry out for deliverance, walk in His ways, proclaim His truth, and then we will find freedom from our past. But sometimes there are levels of freedom to go through. Your husband may think he’s gotten free of something and it will rear its head again, leaving him feeling like he’s right back where he started. Tell him not to be discouraged by that. If he has been walking with the Lord, he is probably moving into a deeper level of liberty that God wants to work in his life. Your prayers will surely gird him for the journey to greater freedom.”
“Being set free from the past can happen quickly or it can be a step-by-step process, depending on what God is teaching. The problem is, you can’t make it happen on your timetable. You have to be patient and pray for as long as it takes to keep the voices of the past at bay so that your husband can make the decision to not listen to them.”
I don’t know about you, but I learned a lot from this chapter! There are so many things that can have strongholds in our husband’s lives, and the past I would say is the most important one. I am so thankful we can go to God for things like this, and that He has the power to change, heal, and set free!
Prayer:
“Lord, I pray that You would enable (husband’s name) to let go of his past completely. Deliver him from any hold it has on him. Help him to put off his former conduct and habitual ways of thinking about it and be renewed in his mind (Ephesians 4:22-23). Enlarge his understanding to know that You make all things new (Revelation 21:5). Show him a fresh, Holy Spirit-inspired way of relating to negative things that have happened. Give him the mind of Christ so that he can clearly discern Your voice from the voices of the past. When he hears those old voices, enable him to rise up and shut them down with the truth of Your Word. Where he has formerly experienced rejection or pain, I pray he not allow them to color what he see and hears now. Pour forgiveness into his heart so that bitterness, resentment, revenge, and unforgiveness will have no place there. May he regard the past as only a history lesson and not a guide for his daily life. Wherever his past has become an unpleasant memory, I pray You would redeem it and bring life out of it. Help him to release the past so that he will not live in it, but learn from it, break out of it, and move into the future You have for him.”
Power Tools:
-Isaiah 43:18-19
-II Corinthians 5:17
-Ephesians 4:22-24
-II Corinthians 4:16
-Revelation 21:4
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