Got courage?
August 17th, 2009 | 
Author: Last week I read through the book Courage After Fire: Coping Strategies for Troops Returning from Iraq and Afghanistan and Their Families by psychologists and mental health experts Keith Armstrong, Suzanne Best and Paula Domenici. It’s a good source of information for military families, and I would recommend that you get it, especially if you are nearing the end of a deployment.
While I wouldn’t call it an enjoyable read (it’s more like a manual or handbook focusing on various issues that can occur with returning veterans), the content does offer some good steps for anyone dealing with PTSD symptoms or who have family members dealing with PTSD. Though the book is generally written toward the service member, one nice feature is that at the end of each chapter, a page is devoted toward the spouse or family member flagging important things to look out for and questions they can ask or consider.
There are some good suggestions for ways to cope when dealing with specific symptoms such as alcohol or substance abuse, panic attacks or being unable to control potentially destructive emotions such as anger. The last couple of chapters focus on returning to civilian life and restoring family roles and relationships. The “Returning to Civilian Life” chapter will be especially useful I think for Guard and Reserve families and covers some good tips on returning to civilian jobs as well.
The courage we have as spouses
This book got me thinking about the courage that we as spouses have when dealing with deployments. I think we usually consider our husbands as the ones with all the guts and the bravery, but as military spouses, we rock with our own brand of fierceness!
I know, sometimes it’s hard to think about being courageous when we struggle to sleep at night; we’re exhausted from caring for children by ourselves, and we find yet one more thing that’s broken down that we’re going to have to fix.
But let’s think about all of the times we are courageous – all of the challenges, big and small, we take on. Sure, many if not most we do because we have to, there is no other choice, but regardless, we meet those challenges! With God’s help, we face those fears!
For every moment we’ve struggled with something, there are many others where we have grabbed on! We’ve prayed, cried and pushed through obstacles we never thought we could.
When my husband was gone, I fixed a clogged sink and had to deal with contractors who had broken our master bathroom’s toilet. Yours may be more serious, like taking a call and finding out your husband was wounded, or dealing with the death of a relative while your husband was gone.
Be it large or small, as military spouses, we exhibit courage every day. So, let’s remind ourselves and share some of those things that are examples of that courage. As a thank you for your participation, I’ll pick a winner THIS FRIDAY to receive a free copy of the book Courage After Fire.
How have you been courageous? Or, how has God helped you to show courage?
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I am definately going to get this book and read it!! It has been three years since my husband has returned but PTSD is still strong, especially with him dealing with our son being over there for the second time – more worry for my husband because he has been there and knows what goes on.
I think for me it’s the fact that my husband was almost killed while deployed. I’ve been courageous in knowing that God was watching out for him and for those around him.
It is a good book to look into reading. Thanks for the post,Sara
We are soon approaching our 6th deployment. God has brought him home safely the 5 times before and I just have to have faith that He will bring him home safely again. There are days where we as a spouse of a deployed family member feel like we just can’t do one more thing or go one more day alone without the one we love. We worry and we’re sleep deprived and we’re completely overwhelmed with day to day activities. Somehow, though, with the Lord’s guidance and strength, we muster up the courage to drive on. Contemporary Christian radio stations such as Way FM have helped me through many bad days. Whether it be something small such as the car breaking down or someone in our battalion had been wounded or killed, the music kept me going and helped me through. May God bless all of our men and women in uniform both at home and overseas!
I look forward to browsing the book. I have read Faith under Fire. It is a VERY good read and the author was transparent when he chose to put journal entries in the book. It tells his journey through the balley of the shadow of PTSD. My Hubby and I have had some very rough months this summer with him finally getting help at the VA hospital, individual counseling for both of us and now joint cousneling. I think it might be hard for soldiers to ask for help due to stigma surrounding having to seem week even though they know things are not right. I have to say our church rallied around both of us and has and is continuing to be a part of the recovery process. As a spouse, I didn’t want to admit anything was wrong wither and just forged a head trying to manage on my own, but I have learned I shlould hav reached out sooner. I did finally reach out when things became a crises.
Yes, I agree that all military spouses rock when it comes to courage. There are things each individual goes through with deployments that are not the same, but there is also a uniting thread stitching all of us together, especially our faith.