There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
“For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?”
This too is meaningless-a miserable business!
Ecclesiastes 4:8
I have a difficult time making friends. I desire authentic friendships. Anything less feels meaningless. This conflicted desire only adds to my struggle for I am also a difficult friend to make. I am no social butterfly. Therefore, at times I appear rude or stuck up. Thankfully, I am aware of this. I no longer dismiss or deprive myself of a possible friend, even if I feel there is no real bond. I know God specifically placed them in my life for a reason and yet, I toil.
We’ve all been through high school. That story is done and over with, but the damage is still there, and I believe many of us have bars upon our hearts. We fear creating friendships; what if the friends move away, don’t like us or, worse yet, we don’t fit in? Or what if that one thing we are hiding becomes visible, thus dissolving the friendship? I believe we fear true friendships due to their painful success rate.
Today, I want to tell you it is time to start a new story. High school is over. I know it may have been the highlight of your school years, or the worst of your life. Yet, every person that enters our lives, whether it be for a moment, a year or, longer – leave adding a little more shape to our character as a woman, daughter, mother, and friend.
Friends, it is time to take the band-aids off, put the crutches in the closet and lay the bars upon our hearts at the feet of Jesus. It is time to stop the gossip, cattiness and the dramatics. We were meant for more than meaningless isolation and miserable business. We were meant to help one another through their troubles. Jesus called us to be sisters through him. He did not call us to fear, but to love.
Father, bless us with a desire for healthy friendships and prevent our fears from depriving us of the wonderful joy found within them.
Tonya VanWinkle is a daughter of the King, Air Force wife, Mother of 2, Pet owner, and Writer. She lives in flip-flops and dreams of sunshine, talks that twang, reads constantly and enjoys traveling, photography, and scrapbooking. She currently calls England her home. She blogs at www.ourtravelinshoes.com
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Great job sis
I really enjoyed reading this. Keep up the good work sis, I am so proud of you. I love you!
cayenne
You “little writer you”. Love You.
Sarah
Tonya as always the article was a well written touching article and I feel it will truly touch and reach many peoples hearts as they are able to “have been there ” and know the feelings in which you talk about , Keep on letting God be your insperation and keep your light shining through your writing !! Great Job and I am very proud of you
Love
Amber
Amber
Tonya, As usual, I enjoyed reading your words. You have a gift, and I know one day soon you are going to reach for the stars, (I am thinking BOOK), followed by top of the best sellers list, book signings, and then I can say, “that’s my niece!” You GO GIRL!!!
Pam O’Banion
Yes Tonya, you do a great job with your writing. This is giving me something to think on today. To many times we take the friends we have for granted and we have those who we call friends and spend time with and we just don’t bother with others who could be possible friends because we seem to think we don’t need to since we already have our little “click.” But there should always be an open heart and room for another friend. Keep up the good work Tonya. Someday, maybe I’ll read that book you are working on.
MIcki (Tonya”s Mom)
Thanks Tonya for a wonderful post. God used it at a perfect time in my life. I’m trying to branch out into some new areas of friendship and it hasn’t been easy. I have been temped to shut down and not open myself up to possible hurt but this has reminded me that is not what God wants. I so appreciate your willingness to let Him speak through you. Keep up the great work dear friend!
Rene