Over the past six months, I have personally heard women talking about the problems in their marriages. I’ve heard stories of husbands being emotionally or physically unfaithful, husbands getting drunk, husbands struggling with pornography, and husbands giving up on their Christian faith. These women who find themselves having serious marital problems have all been Christian military wives, “wives of faith.”

Perhaps you are a woman just like these. Or maybe you are a wife in a hard spot, not because of your husband, but because of yourself. Maybe you are struggling with resentment towards your husband because he is gone all the time. Maybe you feel like raising your children alone and being “abandoned” away from everything familiar isn’t the life you bargained for when you married that special man. Perhaps you are feeling “out of love,” or even being tempted with unfaithfulness yourself.

A lot could be said on the subject of the demise of Christian marriages. Prayer, selflessness, love, compassion, and good communication are all strongly lacking in most marriages. But as I thought on this subject and the difficulties I have faced in my own marriage, I have realized that probably the biggest thing lacking in marriages is FAITH.

I can almost hear you…a short scoff and the perhaps cynically-tinted question: “Faith? In what?!?” Maybe it’s even followed by a question of despair… “What’s left to believe in?”

The most obvious answer would be faith in God, but I think that most Christian women already feel like they have that checked off their list. But how does having faith in God help a woman who is struggling with her marriage?

Hebrews 11:1 says: “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

I think that most women would say that they hope for a good marriage, but when they look around, all they can see is the failed marriages around them, and the problem in their own marriages.

The problem here is that we are looking at what we CAN see, instead of looking to God.
Sometimes, I think that we view marriage like an 8-year-old views Santa. It’s something wonderful that makes her feel all cozy and gives her good things. But her friends around her taunt her and test her faith. One tells her that her parents are really lying to her, while another tells her that she caught her own parents wrapping the presents. Still another tells her that believing that Santa could be responsible for all of those wonderful presents is really just stupid. The 8-year-old doesn’t want to let go of her belief…yet fears that giving up is only inevitable. I mean, it eventually happens to everyone, right?

The wonderful thing is that marriage isn’t like Santa. Marriage isn’t some man-made hoax that eventually HAS to end in failure. This is where faith in God comes in.

First, we need to have faith in the all-wise, all-powerful God who created marriage. Marriage was flawless in its design, and made for God’s pleasure. Revelation 4:11 says “Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.”

God created marriage, and blessed it. “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it…” (Genesis 1:27-28); “God created marriage with a glorious purpose.  And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:23-24).

God created marriage to last. “I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him”(Ecclesiastes 3:14); “But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder”(Mark 10:6-9).

Despite modern trends and the countless failed marriages we see around us, if we truly recognized God’s design for marriage by its very creation, and the beauty in marriage, I think we would be much less hasty to give up on marriage so quickly.

Second, we need to have faith in the God who has power to make your marriage what it needs to be. Despite the circumstances you are facing, or how horrible your husband is to you, or how quickly you rushed into your marriage, the truth remains that you are married. You took a vow, and you promised. In the eyes of God, you are one flesh. It is your responsibility before God to be a good wife, to be a Godly woman, to be a “wife of faith” through whom God can work.

Probably the best marriage advice I ever heard was given to me in the form of two questions. The first question was this: “Do you believe that God has the power to fix your marriage?”

It’s a question only you can answer. It’s a question that goes to the heart of the issue…your faith. Your faith in the God who created marriage…your faith in His ability to change the heart of individuals.

The second question is, “Will you let him?”

This is where your faith takes action. I think that what happens is that so many woman quickly say “oh yes! God can fix my marriage. Please God fix my marriage!” and yet still live their lives contrary to His design. For God to work, He needs you to follow His design for marriage, to fulfill your God-given roles as a wife of faith. How can God work if you are being disrespectful and disobedient to your husband? How can he work if you are still trying to control everything instead of letting your husband lead? Maybe it’s as simple as getting out of the way. Stop trying to fix your husband, your marriage. Stop nagging and fighting, and start praying. Take your hands off of your life, and place your marriage in God’s hands…it’s probably safer there. Worry about following God, doing what He says about marriage, and let Him take care of the rest.

Have faith. Faith in God who created marriage, and faith that He has the power to make your marriage successful. Be a good and Godly wife. Do right. Be a wife of faith.

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)

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