In the Spring of 2002, I sat in my living room afraid. I had moments of fear before this, but it was on this day I learned that I was living in continual fear. My marriage at the time was in turmoil, to say the least. We had transitioned from active duty life to that of the reserves in order for him to attend school.

Our marriage had never been absolutely wonderful, but by this time, almost six years into it, the marriage had not gotten better. I remember the beginning of this fear. Starting only months into our marriage, he would get angry over seemingly small things and I started to worry about my actions or words triggering his anger. Thankfully, he never expressed that anger physically. When he left on his first deployment, I did not worry so much about the anger, but about other women in his life.

This fear continued when we transitioned to reserve life for a few years. He would head for reserve duty and I would feel the fear inside me as he would pull out of the driveway. I did not know who he would see or what he would be doing during these times. I had heard stories from him and others. By Sunday when he was supposed to come home, I would feel that fear again at having to face him not knowing what had happened in between.

The fear began to come every day when I would see his name on the caller ID at work or head home to meet him in the evenings. I also began to fear he might not be home or ever come home again. Fear became a normal part of life.

I knew Jesus. He and I had a relationship that was grounded over years of time together. As I struggled, I would talk to Him frequently asking to be rescued or for Him to heal a marriage I am not sure was ever functional.

The summer of that year brought me to my knees like no other time in my life. I came home one day to find that my husband had left and did not plan to ever come back. The nightmare I had envisioned was here. This moment changed me forever, though. My first husband left and sure enough never came home, but you know what? God still loved me and had amazing plans for my life.

I had lived in fear for nothing. God can handle anything. In that moment, I came to understand the peace that God can give. Whether my husband came home or not was a choice he would have to make, but my responsibility was to continue to follow Jesus.

I wish I would have gotten this fact before that moment. I had no reason to fear. I had Jesus the whole time. If I would have let Him, He would have simply wrapped His peace around me and reminded me that life is not about the circumstances that surround me. Life is about Jesus.

Granted, my heart was broken. I felt like a failure in the marriage category and I had no idea what God wanted me to do from that point forward, but God healed those wounds. He still had a plan for me.

I write this not simply to tell a story, but to speak to your heart. Are you living in that world of fear as well? Are you wondering if your husband will choose not to come home or ask for a divorce? Are you overwhelmed with fear that he may not come back from war or that he might not be the same man that left? Do you experience fear as you move from one location to another as you attempt to find a new place to fit or a new home in which to live?

Joshua knew all about such concerns. Moses had died; subsequently, Joshua was just put in charge of the entire Israelite nation and God had given Him the job of leading the people into the promised land. Talk about fear creeping in. God told Joshua, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).

How was He supposed to carry such responsibility, be asked to do so much, and have no fear? He had given Joshua the answer just a few verses before: “Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.” God had already given Joshua instructions, just as He does us. He gives us His Word to study and follow. That is all he expects of us.

Fear is still fear – and God is still God. I beg you to read again the words of Jesus: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).

I still struggle sometimes when fear wants to creep into my heart, but peace can be ours regardless of the circumstances around us because of the Savior. Trust His words to be true today and allow Him to restore your hope as well as your peace. That is my plan – No fear!

This book was not what I was expecting.  Rebecca’s testimony written in book form is a powerful reminder of God’s redemption for any of our mistakes even, or maybe especially, the ones society says are most unforgiveable. It’s an engaging and well written read, and her style is that of talking to you over a cup of coffee. I expected it to be more of a “help” book in the sense of what to avoid, or the things that she did that maybe the wife at home was not;  instead it’s more of a warning to “good, Christian girls” to not think themselves above such behavior/sin.

My favorite quote was “God will not lead you into sin, just so He can glorify Himself by bringing you out of it” –  to which I say Amen and applaud her willingness throughout to take responsibility for her actions.

I would have liked more on both fronts – details of what went on and what she would change. Not so much more sordid details about how, when, salaciousness, etc.; but more about her heart at the time and what lead up to her willingness to set aside her standards. I would have liked to read more about how God pursued her even in her sin leading to deliverance.

Although Rebecca grew up in a military household, this is only briefly mentioned in the first chapter. Nevertheless, as a military wife I found this book to be a good reminder of God’s redeeming grace in any situation and a warning/reminder that any of us are capable of sin beyond what we believe but there was nothing truly specific to our military life or the unique challenges of military marriage.

I would still recommend the book as a good read; and while it is not specifically a  “military” book, I believe it has much to offer military wives.

_______

Rebecca Halton grew up as a  military brat who writes a feature for Operation We Are Here: http://www.operationwearehere.com/bratchatwithrebecca.html).

In her book Words from the Other Woman, she tells her story of having been the adulteress in an extramarital affair, even as a Christian. Rebecca says, “I really think it would be valuable to military wives because two of the mistakes I made were lack of boundaries and not seeking worth, value, fulfillment in Christ. Both of which (in addition to some other things) made me more vulnerable, both of which I hear or see military wives struggle with, especially during deployments.”

Last week I participated in a meeting with 11 other leaders from Wives of Faith to discuss plans, ministries & needs.  God has brought together an amazing team and I am blessed to be a part of it.

The next morning, I continued in my Bible reading – I am reading through the Bible chronologically for the first time – and I was in Exodus 35.  Here, Moses is asking the people to use their various abilities, talents & skills to help build the tabernacle.  They needed women who could spin goat hair to make yarn, woodsmen, builders, strong people to carry materials, men to work with the metals, and what possibly seemed like many menial tasks completed.

My commentary at the bottom of the page in my Bible says this,

“Every one of God’s people has been given special abilities.  We are responsible to develop these abilities – even the ones not considered religious – and to use them for HIS glory.  We can become skilled through study, by watching others, and through practice.”

What skills do you have that could help your church or your community?  How could you serve your neighbors? Your FRG or spouse support group? The Wives of Faith community?

I encourage you to pray and ask God to reveal those abilities & spiritual gifts to you.  Nothing is too small to be used by God.  You might have the desire and ability to lead a Bible study, or you might be a good cook who could make a meal for a neighbor whose husband just deployed.  Maybe you don’t cook, but you have extra time and you could pick up some groceries for a friend or watch their kids while they go to an appointment.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”  Colossians 3:23-24

Pinterest is a fun and beautiful website that allows you to visually share recipes, quotes, do-it-yourself instructions and numerous other things with your friends. Though it has been around for a couple of years now, it has only really started taking on a life of its own in the last several months and many women are now learning about all of the fun benefits of being part of this community.

Because we want to be where our members are, doing what we can to support and encourage you in your walk with Christ and in your relationships with your husbands and families, we now have our own Pinterest account! Stephanie McFarland, a Wives of Faith member and extremely creative crafty person in her own right, has graciously agreed to be our Pinterest coordinator and has already added some beautiful and creative things to our boards!

A little more about Stephanie:

Stephanie McFarland is Pinterest Coordinator for Wives of Faith. She is the wife of ten years to Bryan, who is currently serving as a Physician’s Assistant in the Army National Guard. Bryan has served in the Somali Conflict as well as Operation Iraqi Freedom. Together they have two children, Brianna and Brantley. Stephanie is a college educated homemaker who has a passion for being the wife and mother God called her to be. She loves wearing aprons and crafting up anything and everything from trendy crochet hats and mittens to oreo rice krispy treats. One of her favorite scriptures is from Psalm 90:14, “Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.”

So if you’re on Pinterest, please follow us and we’ll follow back! (Also, be sure to check out the cute Red, White and Blue board Stephanie’s already added! Cute ideas!)

I remember listening to Heart and the Bangles in PE when we did aerobics, played volleyball, and lifted weights (those must have been my gym teacher’s favorite tapes). So the chorus of the Bangles’ “Just Another Manic Monday” runs through my head pretty much every Monday morning.

To be honest, I’m writing this on Sunday night. I spent my post-church afternoon answering emails, planning lessons and printing handouts for my classes this week, reading poetry, watching the snow fall, and proofreading a 56-page master’s research paper for one of my Bible study friends whose husband is deployed. Sunday night is the furthest thing from mania.

But I know what tomorrow will bring: just another manic Monday (whoa whoa)…

Let me encourage you, before you run off into the mania that is a Monday morning for most wives, moms, students, and women–take a moment to read a few verses from God’s Word. A psalm. A proverb. Something that will ground you before the craziness of our lives can take over. In fact, I know just the one:

Psalm 1:1-3, New Living Translation:
  ¹ Oh, the joys of those who do not 
      follow the advice of the wicked, 
      or stand around with sinners, 
      or join in with mockers. 
 ² But they delight in the law of the LORD, 
      meditating on it day and night. 
 ³ They are like trees planted along the riverbank, 
      bearing fruit each season. 
   Their leaves never wither, 
      and they prosper in all they do.