As a Christian, I find it especially sad when I hear about another believer who is going/has gone through a time when they felt alone or unsupported. Even beyond your relationship with the Lord and realizing that Christ is your ultimate supporter, we know that we have been created as relational beings and that, as Christians, we are called to build one another up, challenge each other to grow, and be unified in our callings under Christ. Ladies, you know where I am going with this: the CHURCH! The church is supposed to provide a place where we are focused on seeking God, making friends, and reaching out/sharing Christ.
Have you ever listened to yourself or a Christian friend describing a church negatively with comments like the following: the people there “didn’t reach out to me” or “didn’t serve me” or “I didn’t get fed” – sound familiar?
This view frustrates me. There is a reason church leadership talks about “20% of the people doing 80% of the work” of the church. I simply cannot understand the mindset where people think they can just show up for services on Sunday morning and “get fed” by the church in a Biblical way. God says in the Bible that the church is for SERVICE. Not the kind you listen to, but the kind you do! This is my point: as followers of Christ Jesus, we should ALL be involved in a church! Remember why God gave us spiritual gifts? To build up the church! (I am referring to the church as the people who make up the church, not an actual building!) See 1 Corinthians 12 or 1 Peter 4:10.
Yes, you need to pick and join a church that suits you and that you feel comfortable in. But let’s face it: especially as military wives, we know we will not always find THE most amazing church in every duty station. Some will seem better to us than others, just as friends we make in some places will be closer/dearer than others. That is life. However, you will be blessed by getting involved in a church wherever you go!
Especially if you feel lonely or like you have no support network, finding a church to get involved with and where you can serve will be such a help and an encouragement to you, not to mention the power of service/obedience to get your focus off of yourself and back onto God’s will for your life. Yes, I know this will take time, but I would argue that taking the time to invest in others is worth it!
Do not sit in a church service and wait for someone to notice your feelings and reach out to you – this happens sometimes, but other times people are shy, or just can’t read your mind, or have their own concerns in the forefront of their minds that week – we are all human! We all fail to take an interest in others the way we should. Do not blame the church or grow bitter – get involved! Go to a Sunday School class or a Bible study. Find out what ministry could use some assistance and pray about where God would like you to serve – and then volunteer! Serving the Lord means practicing obedience, which is faithfulness. Growing closer to Him, and serving alongside/investing in others will help you to find that support you crave. If we are faithful to His call to serve, He will bless us! Perhaps you will not find the best friend you ever had at each subsequent duty station, but He will provide the support you need. Seek Him and trust Him.
Personally, God has never failed to provide me with friends (not always best friends, but encouraging friends nonetheless!) and a support network when I made the effort to get involved in some type of ministry; whether in South America, Asia, Europe, a liberal university, or our current duty station, God has shown me time and time again that He is faithful and He will provide!
Let’s not be passive in church, ladies! Let’s get involved! And maybe you’ll find that not only does God bless you, but He uses you to reach out to that next lonely person (maybe even another military wife!) who needs to hear about Christ or needs to get involved, herself! Get involved and let God use you!
“Now this I say, he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly,
and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.” – 2 Corinthians 9:6
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Nikki is married to an amazing man in the Navy. She works in international affairs and adores warm weather.
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Thanks! I needed to hear(read) that.
♥ SailorWifey
SailorWifey
I learned a long time ago that you go into a church asking what you can do for them instead of what all can they do for you. by the way did you announce the winner of the last day of the blog carnival?
pam
I'm struggling with this. I've never felt so alone in life as I do now as a church going believer.
When I discuss this, people in the congregation say that I'm never alone because He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother, which I understand, but I also need a support network and sense of community from fellow believers, which I completely lack. I never say that and do nothing when they need support from me.
And I need support from them.
The Christian life is hard, and I can't do this on my own.
My being alone isn't due to a lack of involvement. I was a part of that 20%. I've been a part of everything except the men's ministry and even attempted to start fellowship groups.
I help and encourage people in need, and they acknowledge this. But when I'm the one in need of help or encouragement, I'm alone.
People don't answer my phone calls or emails.
And I've had a lot of car problems in the past few months, so my church attendance has been spotty. When my car is working and I'm going to church, everyone says, "I missed you," and, "I'll give you a ride when you need it!" But, when my car is not working, such as it hasn't for the past three weeks, I can find no one to talk to or give me a ride.
It's as if I'm only good to communicate with when a member of the congregation needs something from me.
Literally, it's to the point where if there is a Christian on my caller ID, I know there is someone who wants something from me. It's never just a hello or help.
I feel like this community is so fake.
I hesitate to change churches because this is the only area church that I'm in doctrine agreement with. And, to be honest, I'm kind of burned out and disillused about finding a true church anywhere around here.
La