Empower yourself during deployments

July is a time – at least for one day – when all Americans feel patriotic.  But for those of us who are married to patriots, freedom is a lifestyle that is not symbolized by popsicles, flag cakes and fireworks.

We know that freedom dresses in camouflage, smells like perspiration, and owns more green and tan issued gear than otherwise.  We also know that in the land of the free, the home of the brave is occupied by the brave and lonely wife.  We are “military dependents” and we are very independent!

Mostly, we know the cost of freedom is not free at all.  Some of us already know, and many of us are learning, that despite the lonely doldrums of deployment, we must hold fast and empower our true selves so that we can, in turn, empower our military husbands.

This July my husband will deploy on his—and our—third, seven-month deployment in three years.  Ooh-Rah!  There are countless downfalls to having a deployed spouse and for me the greatest challenge is living in solitude in an unfamiliar military town.  I find that life on the home front is sometimes monumentally stressful, because I am faced with all the demands of every day life—alone—in addition to feeling major concern for my deployed warrior and the war.

At times, life during deployment can make marriage relationships seem impossible.  It is truly no wonder that so many military relationships fail!  However, I think it’s a bit cynical when people ask “How do you do it all by yourself?” because it would be socially preposterous to say the same thing to a single woman!  Just like her, I put on my pants one leg at a time, make sure my house has quarterly pest control, discover I am handier than I ever knew I could be, and sleep in the middle of my queen size bed.  I am, however, not single and for that I consider myself lucky!

All jokes aside, deployments are long, scary and stressful, but both my husband’s success and mine depend on my well being—which is my number one deployment priority.

I try to look at each deployment as the start of a new era, an opportunity for me to blossom on the inside and out.  I know that God created me to be incredible, that my parents raised me to be nothing less than my best, and I’m learning to embrace my good fortune to be both married and free as a bird at the same time.

In fact, many of the world’s most monumental people became influential after a solitary term.  For these reasons, I use my solitary term to develop myself, hone in on my hobbies, and enjoy my time!  With an open mind, new experiences have made me a woman of many trades. I find pleasure in hobbies that lend immediate results.  It makes me feel accomplished and excited for the next adventure!  When my husband is deployed I become:  a spoiling, over-protective protective dog mom; a regular blogger; a movie buff; a DIY guru; a home designer; an avid reader; a handy-woman; an oil painter; a chef; and a total craft junkie.

When I approach deployment with a positive outlook and an open mind, I empower myself by overcoming obstacles, reaching goals and exceeding my own expectations.  Happy on the home front, I am able to support my deployed spouse during his time of need without adding to his burden, or demanding support in return.  Deployment is not a time to grieve your loss.  Rather, it is a time to celebrate the freedom that your patriot represents and bring pride to our volunteer American military each and every day.

Stephanie Gunesch is the proud wife of a Marine Corps pilot who enjoys doing DIY projects and keeping busy during her husband’s deployments. Visit her blog, Nested and Invested.

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