Another day, another in the seemingly endless days of deployment. The days have turned into weeks and the weeks into months. My youngest son simply prays that Daddy will be home safely and by his birthday.  And I am at home wondering how to show my love to my husband. It is hard, after months of separation, to show my love in a satisfying way. Deployment is hard that way.

God’s Word tells me in Proverbs 31:11 “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.” I want to be that kind of wife. I want my husband’s heart to be held safely by me while he is many time zones away, in a completely different type of environment. I don’t want him to ever doubt my love for him, even if he can’t see it closely each day.

Believing this, and finding a purposeful way to express it are two different things. During this deployment God has taught me a great deal about keeping right priorities, and my first priority after God is my husband. So, how do I demonstrate that?

1. Prayer- I pray for my husband every day, for his safety, and for our marriage. Praying keeps my mind focused on him in a special way. I occasionally tell him that I have been praying and ask if there is anything special he would like me to pray about. Sometimes there is something different, sometimes not.

2. Connection- I have a general idea of his routine (though it changes), so I make it a point to have the computer turned on and skype available. It may be the middle of my day my time, and may be rush hour, but it’s the end of a long day for him. It’s time for him to unwind. I’d rather chat with him and stay connected than have him mindlessly surfing the web because there is nothing for him to do. I want to be that something.

3. Confidence- The deployment grapevine is strong, and even if that wasn’t the case, I always try to avoid any instance where anything can be misconstrued as improper. I do not spend any time at all with male friends.  Frankly, the only men I am friends with are the husbands of my girlfriends. In all things I never want my husband to think there could ever be anything improper going on. Being apart can make us all feel vulnerable, so it is especially important to keep things strong. This also applies to online friendships. The only men that are friends on my facebook page are also on my husband’s page and they are friends to us both.

4. Resourceful- I am convinced that little deployment gremlins come out when husbands leave and set about to destroy major appliances and vehicles. I have had more flat tires and broken appliances than seems possible. In light of that though, it seems even more important to handle our finances responsibly. I am careful and resourceful with our funds, and try to save whenever I can. Despite everything seeming to break, my husband and I discuss money and try to stay focused on the same goals.

Making the efforts needed to show your love, and to strengthen your husband by letting him know he can trust you, is not always easy. It is much easier to let each day slide into the next, and the next, just trying to make it through. And sometimes the idea of putting just one more thing on that overflowing plate seems impossible, but I urge you to keep the right priorities.   Nothing is wasted when you do things God’s way. And loving your husband through deployment is one of those things.

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