My husband and I knew, going into marriage, that we would have to keep ourselves focused on God first and each other second. We knew that we would have to put our expectations on God, not each other, because we are both human. We will let each other down, even though we don’t want to! We knew this. I knew this.
So, why am I having such a hard time with this deployment? My husband is halfway around the world, and I cannot depend on him to meet my needs; he cannot be here to talk things through, to hold me and tell me he loves me just because I want to hear it, to hang out with me and be there for me in myriad other ways I would like him to be. He just can’t. I know that – but I don’t like it!
Some days I must constantly remind myself that I can NEVER expect my husband to meet my needs. At any time, but especially while he is deployed, it is incredibly selfish and unrealistic for me to be sad or upset that he cannot. GOD should be my focus. God never leaves me and is there for me to lean on 24/7. God will never let me down. God loves me more than anyone ever could, and knows me better to boot!
Too often I think we look to ourselves and our spouses to meet our needs, even when we think we’re focusing on God! We can focus on God in some areas where it is obvious we need Him, like major life decisions or emergencies, and feel like we do not need God in areas where our spouse or something else in our life is currently “filling the void” just fine. We often do not even realize we are doing this until whatever is filling the void is gone or changes; then suddenly we feel empty or incomplete – we notice a void! We think, when did I decide to fill this area with something other than God? I know I am guilty! I have not been focusing enough on God, having been caught up in the bliss of having my husband around most of the months before deployment! But once we notice such voids, we can ask God to come and fill all areas of our lives.
I am so grateful to have my Heavenly Father ever loving and supporting me! I know that I do not lean on Him enough, but during this deployment (which has barely begun!) I hope I will learn to go to Him for all of my support and love and affirmation! Because only when I am full of HIS love can I show true love to my husband and others in my life. And I know my God is strong and able to fill me with His peace, joy, and love – no matter what the circumstances!
Philippians 4:19 “And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”
Nikki is married to an amazing man in the Navy. She works in international affairs and adores warm weather.