“Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7, HCSB

As I write this, I’ve experienced yet another night of little sleep. Or, to be more accurate about this night, hardly any! After a week of mostly intentional late nights, staying up to finish specific projects, I think this most recent lost night of sleep has more to do with my sleep cycle being messed up (I took a couple of naps over the weekend because I felt so tired which is unusual for me ), rather than me being anxious, but I’m sure stress plays a role on some level.

Anxiety and stress are definitely common when it comes to deployment. Over the last few months, I’ve heard from many military wives who are struggling with this, specifically emailing me about the panic attacks they’re experiencing and their frustration in not knowing how to make them stop.

I only recall experiencing an actual panic attack once and it wasn’t during deployment, though it was during a very stressful time (and I’m sure there have been other moments during deployment that have come pretty close.) My husband and I were both finishing school and he was working as a marketing director for a retirement home while I worked as a news director at the university we both were finishing our degrees at. I don’t remember what exactly was happening that week, but I was stressed with my job, with my classes, with life and it was all reaching a boiling point. He called me and invited me to come over to his work and have lunch with him in their little dining area. I remember breathing a little easier after his call, as I headed over to see him. That’s what I needed, just a quiet little lunch, just the two of us, where I could talk and get out some of whatever was bothering me with work.

But that wasn’t to be. As I followed Cliff into the dining room, he led me not to our own little table in a corner somewhere, but over to a long table filled with his coworkers and his boss. Apparently, we were having a group lunch. I felt completely blindsided and as someone who can be shy and uncomfortable in new situations, I was thrown for a loop. Suddenly, I felt like the temperature in the room had just hit 100 degrees. My hands felt clammy and my heart raced. My stomach churned and I struggled to breathe. And inside I felt enraged, angry that my husband would do this to me. As I sat down, I felt an enormous urge to get up and leave. Not just leave. But RUN out the door. And after what felt like an incredibly long time, though it literally was probably only two minutes, after barely taking a bite of my food, I did get up and leave, much to the frustration and confusion and probably embarassment of my poor hubby. I was having a panic attack.

Panic, anxiety, stress, can certainly all be experienced during deployment, one of the most stressful things we can go through. Being separated from your loved one is hard emotionally, and when you’re by yourself to take care of the house, take care of the kids if you’re a parent, and offer support to the spouse who is away, that’s a lot to hold up. I always shake my head a little at the news articles that come out at least once a year, ringing the alarm of some recent study that’s discovered deployment causes spouses and children more stress. Uh, DUH!

So what do we do? How do we overcome this emotional challenge which can also affect us so physically? I wanted to share with you some of the things I’ve been trying to do to help alleviate my own stresses I’m dealing with as we are almost 100 days into our second deployment. Here’s my disclaimer: Please keep in mind – I am not a doctor, nor am I trained in psychology or counseling so as with any advice, check with an actual doctor for your specific concerns or treatments.

Experiencing panic attacks, or stress, or anxiety, is not necessarily a reflection of your faith. Let me repeat that: Experiencing panic attacks, or stress, or anxiety, is not necessarily a reflection of your faith. You are not a terrible Christian for experiencing worry. You have not disappointed God for feeling stress. I think sometimes we can make things worse than they are when we struggle because we tell ourselves we’re just not praying enough, or we’re just not trusting God enough. Where we are spiritually can play a part I think in how we handle stress, but there are also other things at work, such as your physical condition, and your environmental conditions that need to be considered.

Let me share a few thoughts with you that I’ve been thinking about when it comes to managing my own stress during deployment. I pray that maybe something I’m trying may be something that helps you.

Sleep – When you’re not getting good rest, your emotions can be the first thing to go. We handle life’s stresses better when we’ve slept more than 5 hours. It’s important to set a routine and stick to it. This I think has been my struggle of late. We had a good routine going when my husband first left but since the holidays came and went, it’s been harder getting back into that routine.

If you have kids, set a time when they’re in bed, and stick to it. And if need be, make them go to bed earlier than they normally would. I know one mom who made her kids go to their rooms about 30 minutes early. They could read or play quietly, but they had to be in their rooms. This gave her some quiet time as she picked up and got ready to start the next day.

If you’re a nervous nellie like I can be, hearing every creak and groan in the house, run a white noise machine, or turn the fan on at night. A dog is one of the best security features you can have. I have to tell myself that if he doesn’t hear it, than it’s not worth me hearing either. Check the locks and tell yourself all is well. Trust that God is watching over you. Remind yourself – He doesn’t sleep!

Sleeping pills or aids can also help, but if you’re like me as a parent, you don’t want to take something so strong you can’t wake up in a moment’s notice for your child. A friend of mine suggested taking melatonin – it’s a vitamin that’s a natural hormone that helps with sleep which you take 30 minutes before you’re ready to head to bed. You can find it in the vitamin aisle of any grocery store or pharmacy.

Diet and Exercise – It sounds so basic but it’s so often overlooked. How are you eating? How much are you exercising?

After reading someone else’s tips on struggling with low feelings during winter months especially, I’ve started back taking a regular multi-vitamin. Watching how much fattening foods you’re eating can also make a difference. Vegetables and lean meats are the much better choices and they do have an impact on how we feel emotionally.

Exercise, exercise, exercise. Even if it’s getting out for a walk for 10 to 15 minutes a day – and if it’s too cold outside, find a gym, or a rec center, or the Y, or even a mall! Whatever you do, make a point to move. It will help. My son and I are trying to walk at our YMCA a few times a week. I’m hoping to get back to taking Zumba classes, at least on Saturdays, soon.

Drinking water can also make a difference. When you’re dehydrated, it’s easier to feel down, which can evolve into feeling anxious. Sometimes, especially during winter, we don’t even realize we’re not getting enough water in our systems. I’m trying to drink a big glass at least in the morning when I start my day and around dinner time. I try to drink it at my desk at work but for some reason I get distracted and don’t always do it. I used to drink water all the time before using plastic water bottles became the environmental no-no. Drinking out of a washable thermos just doesn’t have the same effect for me. Weird, I know. I may just have to start back to the plastic water bottles. One last thing I heard about recently regarding nutrition and emotions is to make sure you’re eating more fiber in your diet.

Blue light – Have you heard of blue lights? These are specially designed light machines that are supposed to help folks who struggle with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and I read a highly respected publisher’s post recently who started using this and swears by it. I ordered one and am hoping to try it out starting this week. I’ll let you know in a couple of weeks if I see a difference! (I’m wondering if this had any affect on my not sleeping last night – I was trying to set the thing to go off this morning and the light came on while I was trying to get it set – it is BRIGHT!) Using a blue light in the morning is supposed to help regulate your mood as well as your sleep cycle. We’ll see.

Laugh. Laughter really is good medicine, and in the seriousness of deployment, we can miss this. Go out with friends, or if you’re in a new place and don’t really know anyone, call a friend up. Watch comedies and stay away from shows like Criminal Minds. Which I watched a marathon of this week… hmmm… really need to take my own advice!

Talk it out. If you have a friend you can talk to about your deepest concerns, do it! I don’t recommend using only your husband – if he’s deployed, he’s dealing with his own stresses, and there is a certain balance needed there. Let him know you’re struggling so he can pray for you and encourage you as he can, but don’t depend solely on him for that support. Find a good Christian counselor you can talk with, if you have no one else. Your church may have recommendations – or you can contact Military OneSource for a referral to a counselor in your community and if you go through them, you can have up to 12 visits per issue, at no cost to you and it’s confidential which means it cannot be reported or affect your husband in any way. Having moved to a brand new city and state and knowing no one, I knew I would need someone to talk with as we go through this deployment. I’ve been seeing a Christian counselor twice a month and it’s been very helpful having that extra set of ears. I highly recommend it if you can do it and with the free option through Military OneSource, you have nothing to lose except some stress!

Get into God’s Word. Do a Bible study like Tour of Duty, or just pick a book of the Bible and start reading it and taking notes. There is something about connecting daily with God that can be wonderful medicine and help our stress levels. But it’s a daily discipline that won’t happen unless you do it intentionally. Don’t make excuses why you can’t. It will benefit you health-wise so much more than you realize.

What are some ways you’re overcoming anxiety during deployment? Share with the rest of us!

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