Surprise?
January 14th, 2010 | 
Author: I recently read an article in our paper’s “extra” section about the effects of surprise reunions on military kids. The story they featured was from the St. Petersburg Times and was reported as being one of the best-read stories the day it ran. Over one hundred people left emotional and heartfelt online comments in response to the story of Army Sgt. 1st Class Michael Spaulding’s surprise reunion with his fifth grade daughter in her classroom. A photographer and news media were there to capture the long-anticipated moment between father and daughter.
Since then, this type of reunion has attracted criticism with experts claiming the possibilities of potential damage to the surprised children. The article went on to talk about the potential for the children to hold anger during a deployment and that there are no guarantees on how the children are going to react to such a surprise. One professor even suggested that such exposure would make an already overwhelming situation even more stressful.
However, the wife of Army Sgt. 1st Class Spaulding disagreed. She talked about the support of her community, including their daughter’s class who became pen pals with Spaulding and sent him letters and cards throughout the deployment. The teachers who witnessed the reunion all had positive responses and developed a greater understanding of what it means to go through a deployment. Some say that having a heads up gives children the opportunity to mentally prepare and that being able to look forward to their soldier’s homecoming is all part of the fun. While keeping the focus on the child, they dipped into the controversy of exploiting the military family verses raising awareness and support for the military family.
Popularity: 5% [?]
Related posts:
Category: 
I think they are wonderful, and much needed!
I think that whoever these “professionals” are that say it is damaging to the child obviously never were in a military family. I can say from experience that our kids were very surpised in a good way when we pulled the “surprise” homecoming. We don’t do it everytime, in fact we only did it once when he came home on leave. I think whether they know ahead of time or not, being a military child is stressful. Sometimes when they know ahead of time my kids have been apprehensive and worried about how things would play out so in those instances a surprise would have been better.
As far as bringing more knowledge and awareness, I agree. I bet the teachers and other kids in that class room learned a lot that day. I am sure that they saw the raw emotion that took place and had a greater understanding for what that Father and his children had to endure being apart.
I would never put any of my kids in a position where they are publicly put on the spot at a time when their emotions will be running high. They are allowed to feel however they want when their daddy returns from a deployment, no pressure to put on a show for a big group of people–spouses have mixed feelings, and so do our kids–and that doesn’t mean we haven’t missed our soldier, or loved him/her, any less. I’ve never been a big fan of a man proposing to a gal in front of hundreds of people, either. It depends on the kid, and they sure do have different reactions to the same event. As long as the mother knew how her daughter felt and thought that she was an extrovert, then more power to her. It’s up to the military family, it’s up to the individual, and for goodness sakes lets not lump all people together and make sweeping statements. Any time there is high stress, whether it be good or bad, it can lead to some difficult times.
I think it would depend on the child really…I’m not a parent but I have been a child. I LOVED surprises as a kid but my little brother actually freaked out when we threw him a surprise party…spent most of the party hiding in the woods. I think every parent needs to evaluate what would be best for each of their children and act accordingly. I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer in this situation.