Wives of Faith

We are pleased to announce that Ralene is joining our ranks on the blog team as our Newborn and Baby writer. We at Wives of Faith have seen a need to serve those of you who are just beginning your families, or are in the early stages of motherhood. Because Sara and Pattie are several years removed from mothering babies and preschoolers, we were thrilled when Ralene stepped forward to volunteer.

Welcome, Ralene! Here’s her story:

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When Sara first invited me to guest blog about life with a newborn, I was beyond thrilled. I’m always eager to share my knowledge and experience…sometimes without even being asked. (Yes, God and I are working on that.) As the initial excitement wore off, I began to wonder—why would anyone listen to me? Who am I to advise others when I’m still trying to get it right myself?

But that’s what Wives of Faith is all about. Supporting and encouraging each other as we travel through the brave territories of motherhood and military life. So, I figured you all would want to know a little about me. Brace yourselves for a rollercoaster ride!

It all started on a stormy day in May of 1981…

Just kidding! I’ll skip ahead a few years.

On June 21st of this year, my husband and I celebrated seven years of marriage. When we first tied the knot, he was in the National Guard. After our first year, he was deployed to Kosovo for fifteen months. When he came home for his R&R I got pregnant with our first child. The first seven and a half months of the pregnancy, I was living alone. We were in a college town, so I didn’t have a lot of people around me who understood what I was going through.

Since we were pregnant, it was best for him to go active so that I wouldn’t lose my healthcare. As soon as he got home, we PCSed to Fort Hood, TX. Let me just say three things about the temporary housing we were in—no air conditioning, no elevator, and three flights of stairs. Yeah…

So after two weeks, we got our house. We received our keys on a Friday, our household goods were delivered on Monday, and I was admitted to the hospital due to severe eclampsia on Tuesday. So, with nothing in the house unpacked or put together, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

And then, three months later, I was pregnant again. The day after we found out I was pregnant, my husband got another set of orders. His unit would be deploying—to Iraq. Given that we had just moved there, and with all the issues I’d had with my first pregnancy, hubby and I decided that it would be best for my daughter and me to move in with my parents for this deployment. So, we gave up our house and moved across the country.

The biggest difference with this pregnancy and this deployment was that I actually suffered from depression. I wasn’t diagnosed or anything, but I knew. I had a hard time functioning on a basic level—even had a hard time finding the desire to play with my daughter. I was angry. And I took it out on the Lord—wanting nothing to do with Him. It wasn’t until I had a long talk with the pastor’s wife next door that I came to terms with my depression and with God. Talk about divine intervention! God knew just what I needed to hear.

Six months after moving in with my parents, I gave birth to beautiful daughter #2. Hubby missed the birth, but he was able to come home about two weeks later. Too bad his R&R was marred by the fact that both girls had RSV. Scary stuff! Thankfully, though, the Lord was on our side.

A year later we found ourselves in Kansas. Another eighteen months and we decided to try one more time for a boy. This pregnancy was a whole new ball game. I had two pre-school age daughters who I think are literal balls of energy. I don’t know how they go-go-go all day long!

With my husband’s job here, he goes on monthly TDYs for at least half of the month. So, while he’s not getting shot at, he is constantly coming and going, which can be just as taxing on the family life. Somehow we made it through and, in June of this year, we welcomed a bouncing baby boy into the family!

And that brings me to today, and this message to you: Whatever your circumstances, whatever your frustrations, dilemmas—and of course your joys and praises—I’m here because I’ve been there and I’m still discovering. Newborns are precious gifts from the Lord, but they are also a lot of work and a constant learning experience. The way I hear it, I’m going to be making mistakes and pulling out my hair for the next 18 years. Apparently, it never gets easy—but, oh, is it worth it!

I invite you all to join me in supporting new mothers, and experienced mothers, with newborns. If you have questions, let me know—leave a comment or send me an email. If I don’t know the answer, I know how to find it! And feel free to contribute to the discussion by leaving a comment. We’re here to learn from and encourage one another. God bless!

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Have you heard about this yet? The DoD has partnered with SitterCity.com to offer free memberships for military families (active, Guard AND Reserve), which as I understand, is normally a $120 deal.

I just registered and it was quick and easy. You will need your husband’s DoD info because eligibility will be checked but it offers you some incredible access to caregivers – not just for babysitting, but pet sitting, tutoring and even care for your elderly relatives. If you struggle with finding childcare (because, really, how many of your friends have been willing to give up the name of their most trusted sitters?), this may be a great resource for you!

Now, please note, the deal covers the membership only – you still will pay for the actual service and those rates are worked out between you and the prospective care giver. But talk about a time saver! Your free membership includes a four-step screening process, free access to background checks, comprehensive babysitter profiles and babysitter video interviews.

Check out this article for more information, and to register, go to sittercity.com/dod.

A great little present for yourself, just in time for Month of the Military Child.

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I received an email from a rep at Build-A-Bear Workshop, that fun make-your-own stuffed animal store that I’m sure so many of us have already visited, especially those who have gone through deployments.

Build-A-Bear Workshop is offering a special salute to the troops and their military families in honor of Veteran’s Day this month and between Wednesday, Nov. 11 through Sunday, Nov. 15, you can get 20% off your purchase simply by showing your military id.

If you’re not sure what Build-A-Bear Workshop is, this is a store that allows you to make your own interactive stuffed animal. We did it with Caleb when Cliff deployed the first time; he has a stuffed monkey and when it’s squeezed, he can hear Cliff’s voice saying “You’re my little monkey. I love you very much and I’ll be home soon.”

Many military wives have been able to get really creative for their kids and their deployed husbands and I know I’ve heard of great stories of deployed soldiers taking their own bears or animals along with their kids voices and sending home pictures of all the adventures their tag-a-long friends have had. It’s just one more way that you can keep the connection going with your deployed family member.

For more info, go to buildabear.com.

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I remember vividly the day we arrived at my dear friend’s river lot. We were busy unloading the car and I told my two year old, Cody, to stay right by my side and not move until I had his life vest out and on him. He looked up at me with those glaring blue eyes and adorable smile as if to say, “of course mother… I would never do anything against your wishes.” I smiled back at him as I began to hurry and unload the rest of our mountain of “needs” for the day.

The sun was beating down on us as it only does in Alabama and we were all anxious to get into that glistening water to cool off. In a split second, Cody was running in a sprint toward the pier. It was with great determination and joy that he sprinted. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw those short little chubby legs going as fast as they possibly could go. I panicked and dropped everything in my arms and began to run toward the water praying that God would allow me to run faster than a speeding bullet just for today!

A friend of ours was closer than I was and had noticed the run away freight train in the shape of my little boy headed for that cool, deep water. There he went… into the depths of the river… no flotation device… no mom… no dad… no fear! The horror of that moment rises in my throat again as I type this story. Our friend Jay hit the water about the same time as my little Cody did. He grabbed his batman shirt and yanked! It seemed that with one grasp, my baby hung in the balance of life and death. He popped his little head up and giggled as he spat out water (oh the horror that he was ingesting river water) and coughed a little. I made it to the end of the pier and grabbed Cody from the caring arms of our friend.

The relief I felt was strange. At the moment when I realized he was ok, I also realized the danger that he was in. I often thought that I needed to have him on a leash or a chain to keep him safe. I knew that when he was within my watchful eye that he would be safe and I could make sure of that. As Cody got older, it became harder to keep that watchful eye on him… literally.

Now he is 21 years old and as I find it harder than ever to watch him run into the sea that is the world without me, I find myself reflecting on God’s Word. I also wish now more than ever that I had a leash or a chain to keep him close to me and safe! I realize that what I must hold fast to is the Word of the Lord. Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a child in the way that he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (KJV). Proverbs 3:5 reminds us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding” (NASB).

We can’t hold fast to our children literally, but we can hold fast to the Word. The Word says to train our children and trust the Lord. My mom always says when you are not sure of what to do, look for what you are sure of…

We can always be sure of the Word.

Christie is the wife of  a military police officer who serves in the United States Army Reserves. They live near Atlanta with their children Cody 21, Mollie 18, Justin 16 and Michaela 11. Christie has taught gifted students for nine years and is active in their local church.

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Back in the spring, I put out a request for you to let me know where you’re blogging, so I could spotlight a few each month in the newsletter.  I don’t know about you, but I’m always thrilled to find a kindred spirit in this crazy military life! Without further ado, here are three gals for you to meet!

Navy wife Alicia blogs at Experiencing Each Moment. What I love about her blog is her “educational” posts. It’s great fun to read about those things that are particular to the Navy. Alicia’s daughter Samantha has cystic fibrosis, so she blogs about that at Strides to Cure Found. Currently her husband is deployed, so please keep her in your prayers. Alicia, thanks for sharing your blog with us!

Semper Wifey blogs at Semper Wifey about being a Marine wife. She says, “With a wedding, international honeymoon, and cross-country move in the span of mere days, I quickly learned the mantra of all good Marine wives: ‘Semper Gumby.’” Semper Wifey is taking a blog break right now, so be sure to pray for her too when you visit her site, which still has its archives up, as well as a handy-dandy search feature.

Jessica blogs at Just4Crows.  She and husband Jason, who recently celebrated their eighth anniversary, have two children. He’s been deployed twice, but is currently home. There are photos on her blog in June, of her grandfather pinning her soldier brother in a promotion ceremony that made me teary. Her blog is honest and fun to read.

If you’d like to post your own blog, please go to this post and comment with your first name (or just your “internet alias” is fine too!) and of course your blog’s URL. Thanks!

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