Wives of Faith

Please welcome a guest post from Liz.

===========================================================

My First Deployment

Almost eighteen months ago, my husband left for isolated duty in Attu, Alaska. I did not know at the time, that his original twelve month tour would be extended. This time period was challenging but a great opportunity for my personal growth. As I look back on this time period, I remember the quiet days that seemed to zoom by.

Before my husband was deployed, I decided to go to grad school. I had just left active duty and I had a brand new baby. My academic advisor told me how she was able to go to grad school without comprising her family time. I would catch lectures while the baby was sleeping and write papers at night or early in the morning. I had it all planned out. I would spread out my time and work on college at least two to three hours a day. I thought this schedule would be easy for my lifestyle because I was used to getting up at 0430 everyday when I was on active duty. I am proud that I completed an MBA and graduated with honors while my husband was deployed.

There was another area in my life that I needed to work on. I decided to use my extra time for spiritual growth. My goal was to read the Bible in a year.  I was amazed by the joy I received in learning God’s revelations and his plans for his people. I was humbled and honored to be one of his chosen people.  I felt his light and his love for me. I grew closer to the Lord and I felt safe. All of my deployment fears melted away. I took long road trips with my son up and down the east coast to visit family. I felt comfortable wrapped in the arms of the Lord.

Deployment was challenging because I had to learn how to ask for help. I had to learn to lean on my family, friends, and the Lord. The most important lesson I learned from deployment is that if you take the Lord our Savior into your life, you can accomplish anything. I would like to share with you my favorite Psalm that also lifts my spirits, Psalm 23:1-6:

The LORD is my Shepherd; I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

================================================================

Liz is both former active duty and a military spouse! She served six years on active duty in the Coast Guard herself, and her husband has over 9 years of active duty service in the Coast Guard.

Popularity: 12% [?]

Ventura County Wives of Faith

Book Club

When: 3rd Friday of every month

Next Meeting: Friday, August 20

Time: 6:30-7:30 pm

Location:  E-mail Leanne for location

What:  Chapter 3 of God Strong, by Sara Horn

Childcare Option: The base offers a free Parent’s Night out from 6-9:30pm.  Sign up in person at the Mugu or Hueneme CDC (1-5 years) or Youth Center (K through 12 years).  First come, first serve basis. Sign up before August 18.  Babies under 1 are welcome at the Wives of Faith meeting.

Note: Come even if you have not read. We will continue to get to know one another, connect as military spouses and encourage each other in our faith.

Looking for host homes:  Are you interested in hosting a WoF meeting?  I need homes for Sept. 17, Oct. 15, and Nov. 19.  E-mail me if you are willing.

Contact:  Leanne Miller

Email: lmiller@wivesoffaith.org

For more information, please visit: www.wivesoffaith.org

Wives of Faith is a faith-based military wives support group that exists for the purpose of connecting all military wives in all branches of service including active, retired, Reserve, and Guard, who are looking for encouragement and friendships with others sharing similar life experiences!

Popularity: 1% [?]

Upon first glance, this may seem like a redundant title. However, if you will, consider the following:

august (adj): inspiring reverence or admiration; of supreme dignity or grandeur; majestic

2010 has been a year of changes for my family, as well as for many on our Wives of Faith board and blog team members. One might argue that it’s easily explained with a glib, “Oh, well, we’re military wives, we always deal with change.” True, but at the same time perhaps it’s not as simple as that.

Which leads me to August–or, an august August.

I’ve been reading a very interesting and thought-provoking book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. It’s gotten me thinking about happiness, how I make or break my own attitude, and how I can count my blessings and focus on the happy things, rather than the things that rob me of happiness.

The chapter for the month of August, incidentally, deals with what she calls eternal values. One of the ways Rubin decides to count her blessings is to foster an awareness of gratitude in everyday life.

My challenge for all of you reading this blog is this: look for the august in August. Search for things inspiring reverence or admiration; of supreme dignity or grandeur; or majestic.

Incidentally, our monthly theme here at Wives of Faith for this month is A Joy-Filled Life. We’ll be looking for ways to find the joy in our day, in our lives, sometimes in spite of our circumstances. Also, we’ll be touching a lot on our other theme for the month: deployment. We have some wonderful articles forthcoming on that particular topic, which is always timely as every day on our Facebook page we hear from wives who are dealing with deployment.

I invite you to bookmark our site and keep coming back throughout the month. We’ve got some exciting new features, new and relevant content written by military wives for military wives, and a blog redesign all on the horizon!

Sincerely,
~Pattie~
Wives of Faith Blog Editor

(Side note: Gretchen Rubin is not a Christian, rather a self-described “reverent agnostic.” Nevertheless, I believe that this book still affords Christians a good jumping-off point for determining our overall outlook on life and attitude about being happy, even if only one chapter specifically deals with spirituality.)

Popularity: 5% [?]

Sometimes life is just plain hard.

Chances are if you’re reading this, you’re either a military spouse or you know one. You’re probably nodding as you read this. Yes, oh yes, life is hard.

Military personnel leave their homes and families for necessary training. They leave for duty across the sea (or on its surface, or within its depths), for duty in the air, for duty on dry and parched land, for duty on flooded land.

And for family members left behind, it’s hard. Cars break. Appliances go wonky. Children get sick. Storms both physical and emotional take their toll on tired and wounded bodies and hearts.

Sometimes life is hard.

The question in response becomes, What do you do about it?

Outside of the physical responses, like calling AAA or appliance repair, the doctor’s office, or just plain hunkering down in the house . . .

When life gets hard, where do you turn? Where do you go? What do you do?

I hope and pray that you turn to Jesus. Do you know Jesus? Really know Him? I’d encourage you to learn. Begin by reading the gospel of John. Get to know the Son of Man, Jesus the Christ. Then invite Him into your heart and life, into the middle of your busy, crazy day. Just as you are.

I just know that having Him close to your heart will make life just a little less hard.

________

Do you know what it means to be a Christian? The plan of salvation is very simple and can be boiled down into three steps:

Admit you are a sinner. (Romans 3:23: For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.)

Believe in your heart that Jesus lived, He died as a sacrifice for your sins, and He rose again. (Romans 10:9-10: That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.)

Commit your heart to Him. (John 3:16: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.)

For more resources, you can visit the Wives of Faith Statement of Faith,  Roman Road to Salvation, or How to Become a Christian. You can also go to a local church and speak with a pastor, or if you’re on base or post, visit the chapel and speak with a chaplain.

Popularity: 1% [?]

I’m helping Pattie out with the blog spotlights for a while. Here are three military wives that you might like to add to your reading list. I hope you enjoy these blogs as much as I did.

Lori Bell founded the National Association of Military Moms and Spouses (NAMMAS) in September 2009. The NAMMAS site is packed with articles on topics ranging from Career & Business to Relationships. She’s also the Military Spouse of the Year for 2010.

One of my favorite posts My Husband’s Better than Yours: How to Deal with Bratty Military Wives offers a humorous approach to deal with the variety of personalities that we are certain to meet. Discover the Power of Finishing What You Start offers 5 great reasons why along with a challenge to pick that old project back up.

Lori wants us all to learn how to ‘prosper where we are planted’.  Stop by to browse the useful topics or become a member of NAMMAS.

Monica, a Chaplain’s Wife and homeschooling mom, tells their family’s story at Daily Dwelling. Her latest posts follow her commitment to get back in shape after having children.

”I feel as if I have been pregnant for the last five, no six years. And it has taken a toll on my body. So, with my husband’s help and support, I’m going to get back in shape. Now that I’m six weeks out from giving birth and have been cleared from exercise it’s time to get to work!”

Holly, at Household Six fills her posts with scripture and grace. My favorite quote is from her post Love Gifts…!:

“Just as Rilla lovingly laid her precious bird at my feet with a wag of the tail and happy eyes (promptly pitched over the back fence!) hoping I would understand that she loves me, I need to be willing to see the love of others even when it’s not obvious!
And most of all of the Lord even or maybe especially when He seems far away, deaf, slow or uncaring! Asking Him to open my eyes….”

Be sure to stop by and tell these ladies “Hello!” If you have a blog that you would like to be spotlighted, stop by this post.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Since this is the Month of the Military Child, no doubt you’ve been hearing about some great resources to help your children cope with deployment. There are some wonderful books, some great websites, and helpful organizations that as a parent you can take advantage of to help your children deal with their other parent being away and staying connected. (I’ll try and list several that I know about at the end of this post).

But there is one area that I really want us to focus on and think about this month that I don’t think always gets a whole lot attention when it comes to kids and deployment -  and that’s their relationships with God.

During my husband’s first deployment, I remember talking with one of my Army wife friends about the struggles of being a temporary single parent and trying to protect the heartstrings of our children. She said, “I’ve found myself asking God, why? Not why do I have to go through this, but why does my little girl have to? Why does she have to go through the pain of not having her daddy around? And then I had the thought – that just as God is teaching me important lessons during this deployment, maybe He’s teaching her something too.”

What an incredible insight to an opportunity we have as parents to help our children grow in their walks with God. And we do have an opportunity – whether they’re 4 or 14, we can point our kids to the same source of strength we point ourselves to – both by example and in our talks with them.

So here are a few thoughts on ways we can use deployment to help teach our children how to lean on God.

1. Teach them how to talk to God. One of the best things any of us can do to cope with the fears, frustrations and numerous other emotions that come up during deployment is to pray. This is a great time to teach our kids, by instruction and by example, the importance of talking to God.  Pray at meal time, pray at bedtime and pray for your deployed service member as well as for each other. Young children can repeat after you, or learn simple one- or two- sentence prayers to say. Teenagers may want to keep a prayer journal, writing out their prayers to God.

2. Teach them how to listen to God. One of the best ways we have in listening and hearing God’s voice is through His Word. Make a goal during this deployment to memorize scripture as a family. Start out simple – learn a verse a week, or if that’s too much, take a month to work on a verse together. If you’re unsure of what verses to use, find a topical scripture guide for a quick way to find the best scripture to fit your family’s needs, whether it’s addressing fear, or anger, or loneliness. “When I am afraid, I will trust in you,” (Psalm 56:3)  is a great start. If you’re able, get your husband to participate too and when he calls home, quiz each other on which verses you’ve memorized. Have fun with it, and at the same time reinforce to your kids the wisdom and peace and hope we have when we listen to God and His truth.

3. Teach them to trust in God. The unknown is something we struggle with as adults, so to a child, the unknown can sometimes be absolutely terrifying! We don’t always have the answer to Why, and we shouldn’t pretend to. But, as believers, we know that God is in control and He knows why, and that is where our faith and trust have to come in. I think as parents, we can struggle with this. I know that one of my fears for my son when my husband was overseas was that horrible question in the back of my mind – what if something happens to my husband and my son blames God and wants nothing to do with Him? I think it’s important not to ever make promises we can’t ourselves keep – avoid the statements like “nothing will happen to Daddy”, or “God won’t let anything bad happen to Dad.”  Instead, emphasize what we do know – that God is in control and that He works everything for our good. (Romans 8:28).

For discussion: What are some ways you’re teaching your kids to depend on God during deployment?

Popularity: 3% [?]

          Having a family full of performing artists, I have seen my share of curtain calls.  It is interesting to watch the different takes any given production has on how to end their show and enjoy some applause.  Whatever method they may choose, evenings normally end with performers receiving their thanks in applause while humbling themselves before the audience in a bow. 

          God showed me very early in this deployment that one of our many classroom subjects was going to be about bowing.  From almost the time Rob received his orders, I felt the Lord was telling me that my fears were going to have to learn to bow down with me at the cross.  Together, my fears and I needed to learn to fear Him.

          Wow, what a tall order that sounded like to me.  Fear seemed like the go-to appropriate emotion when one was sending their spouse to a war zone, right?  And what exactly was all this stuff about me fearing God anyway?  What did it really mean?  Isn’t God love and all that warm fuzzy stuff?  Why am I supposed to fear Him? 

          Lots of questions, lots of opportunities to grow.  First of all – fear of sending my spouse into a war zone.  How was that very legitimate concern supposed to learn to bow down?  God began to show me that my fears were based in a lack of trust in His provision.  Though all my fragile human mind and heart could see was that Rob was walking into a dangerous arena, the truth God reminded me of is that He has already numbered Rob’s days.  Nothing can reach Rob in a war zone that has not first passed through the hands of a very loving Father, who is always, ultimately about our good.  While I felt God understood my fear, I also felt Him encouraging me to release it, and Rob, to Him. 

          Next lesson – What does it mean to fear God?  For me this has meant learning how to have reverence for who God is.  Fear has such a negative implication for us today, but in the Bible, the word is often used to denote reverence and respect.  My children are crazy about their father and have very close relationships with him.  But even as adults, they do not cross him.  You can call that reverence, respect or good healthy fear.  Fear and reverence for God are so very similar.  As I get to know God better and grow in my understanding of who He is, my response to His presence is one of fear and reverence.  In very simple terms, I do not want to mess with my Father.   

          Last question – Why does God want me to fear Him?  Through this deployment, God has shown me that as I learn to fear (or reverence) Him, I begin to understand more of who He really is and how much He loves me.  As I learn to fear Him, I know that He is sovereign.  No one can reach me or my family without walking through Him first.  When those dark thoughts rail against my mind in the night, I can remember that only He is in control of the destiny of both my husband and me. Neither the military nor the insurgents get to decide our fates.  Nothing will come to us that has not passed through God’s loving hands.  It may not be easy, but God will work anything meant for evil towards us for our good.  My fear of God can become a place of rest for me.

          So, how have I done in God’s classroom as the curtain starts to fall on this deployment?  Let’s put it this way – please don’t ask to see my report card!  There have been way more tears and way more fears than I had ever hoped to be dealing with during this time.  In spite of my poor performance as a student, I am so thankful for the lessons God has given me in this particular classroom that I would have never chosen for myself or my family. 

Fears, is it time to bow? – I think so.

Then a voice came from the throne, saying:

“Praise our God, all you His servants,

you who fear Him, both small and great.

Revelation 19:5 (NIV)

Popularity: 3% [?]

It was another Skype call followed by another set of tears.  While trying to maintain some kind of resolve and a degree of composure, I felt myself breaking like the snow-laden branches outside my window.   Not wanting to make things any more difficult for my spouse who is living a life of working 15 hour days, 7 days/week in a foreign, often dangerous land, I quickly hit the “End Call” button.  My heart said, “Don’t let go!” while my head said, “Don’t add to his difficulty.”

Surely I was doing something wrong.  Did this really have to be so hard?  Why was I still having days when I just dissolved emotionally?  I mean come on, I am a child of God Almighty.  My husband and I have been married for 28 years.  This is not the first time we have walked through deployment.  For pete’s sake, I even write pieces of encouragement for military wives!  What a fraud.  Why was I such a failure?

I know your deeds.  See, I have placed before you an open door that no

one can shut.  I know that you have little strength,

yet, you have kept my word and not denied my name.

Revelation 3:8 (NIV)

Wow.  God knows.  He knows exactly how I am doing.  I may fool the world, my friends, my children or even my spouse, but God knows my deeds.  And He sees my hurt.

Wow.  God has an open door for me.  As I wait anxiously to develop the ability to “properly execute a deployment” (whatever that means!), God is ready and available to help me the minute I stop thrashing through the deep waters trying to do everything by myself.  He makes His power readily available to me anytime I choose to walk through His always open door.

Wow.  God knows that I have little strength.  No matter what I expect of myself or feel like others expect of me, God is keenly aware of my condition.  I have total need of His grace and mercy just to make it from one day to the next.  And no matter how good a show I may put on for others, He is always aware of my limitations.  They have not escaped his gaze nor caused Him to look upon me with disappointment.

When I view my current situation through the lens of God’s word, I find that I am indeed a woman of little strength.  And, amazing as it may seem, that thought gives me peace.   As we draw closer to the close of my spouse’s military career, I realize the day is probably not going to come when I do deployments well.  So, that is my underwear hanging on the line – I am a military spouse who does not handle deployments well.  Who sometimes dissolves into tears at the end of (or even during) a Skype call.  A woman of little strength.  But I serve a God who is strong indeed.  And His word encourages me.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:10b (NIV)

Popularity: 4% [?]

At the beginning of each year, there is a desire within me for a new beginning, a fresh start.  We are four weeks into the New Year and yes that desire is still there, but something is different.  In a “normal” year, I like to sit down the first week of January and make a list of goals of what I want to accomplish during the upcoming year.  Realization is starting to settle in and I am figuring out that 2010 is not one of those “normal” years.  I am in the midst of my husband’s deployment, working full time and a mother of a busy teenager.  So, at the end of the day, my only goal is to get in bed and try to fall asleep at a decent hour so I can start the next day all over again.  Does this sound familiar to some of you?

Goal setting for me has always been about what I want to accomplish in the New Year.  Even though I have not taken the time to write out my goals for this New Year, God has used the last couple of weeks preparing my heart for His goals that He has for me.  Whether it is through reading His word, listening to excellent teachings of His word, having conversations or quiet time in prayer, God is speaking to me and this year I do not want to miss what He is saying.  I would like to share with you some thoughts and scriptures that God has given me that may help you look at goal setting differently and also help you reach your God-given potential this year.

Just recently I read and studied the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead in John 11.  Jesus had asked for the stone to be rolled away from the tomb.  Martha’s response was no different than how we would have responded.  She told him there would be a stench since Lazarus had been dead for four days.  Jesus replies to her, “Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?”  A question that was asked of me, I now ask of you.  What stone in your life are you refusing to roll away?  I truly believe that if God has given us dreams and visions for our life, He will sometimes ask us to roll away some stones.  Do you believe?  Do you want to see the glory of God?  This year allow and cooperate with God as He prepares you for what He has in store for you.

Whatever goals God has given you to achieve this year, refuse to live your life without passion and enthusiasm.  Ecclesiastes 9: 10 (NKJ) states, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going.”  Refuse to overlook or lose sight of the gift that God placed in you.  Paul, in his letters to Timothy, tells him in 1 Timothy 4:14, “Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the presbytery.”  Paul reminds him again in 2 Timothy 1:6, “Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands.”

This new year, join me as I prayerfully ask God what He wants to accomplish through me in 2010.  He has something spectacular prepared for each of us.  Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) states, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Popularity: 3% [?]

It happens every January.  The stores quickly clear out the leftover merchandise of Christmas to replace it with all the latest books, gizmos and gadgets associated with exercise and weight loss.  No sooner are the last bowl games wrapping up then fans begin discussing NFL playoffs.  Children and college students return to school in a combination of “Oh, no!” and “Oh, yes!” responses.  And people make New Year’s resolutions.

Every January I would attempt to join the bandwagon.  This year, I am going to lose weight.  This year, I am going to begin exercising every day.  This year, I will not be late for anything, ever.  With great zeal and fervor, I would launch into the New Year, excited about tackling my new-found goals. 

By the end of January, the picture would often be quite different.  If my goal was weight loss, by the end of January, the celery sticks might have been replaced by some warm brownies and a promise to start over again soon.  If my goal had been to exercise every day, my schedule would have often adjusted and exercise on a weekly, not daily, basis might have become my new target, if my goal was remembered at all.  If my goal had been being on time, I would rationalize that obviously the increased chaos at home lately made it impossible for me to arrive on time every time.  Whatever the resolution, whatever the excuse, by the end of January, my resolve would have pretty much dissolved in a puddle of discouragement over my failures or rationalize over my excuses.  Until last year.

Last year was the first year that God did something very different in my heart.  Instead of jumping on the band wagon of resolutions, I allowed God to give me some words to carry in my heart.  They were not revolutionary or rocket science concepts, but they spoke deeply to me and gave me an anchor for what God might want to do in my life during 2009.  Little did I know, He was going before me in ways I could not have begun to imagine in January 1st. 

2009 was to be the year of our firstborn son’s wedding.  2009 was to be the year of our second son’s college graduation.   2009 was to be the year of my husband’s retirement from the Naval Reserve after 28 years of service.  All these events sparked excitement and anticipation of many celebrations for our family.  And celebrate we did.  Our firstborn married his sweetheart and we added a beautiful, godly young woman to our family.  Our second born walked across the stage and received his college diploma.  But instead of celebrating Rob’s retirement, we packed his bags and sent him to Iraq. 

So what now?  Where were my words as my world unexpectedly turned upside down?  I can tell you this.  As Rob shared news of his orders with me late one night (I think we experienced the concept of “shock and awe” in a whole new dimension!), there was not a New Year’s resolution I could have made in January that would have given me support in that hour.  But the words God had given me flew to my heart and mind.  Those words let me know, even in my pain, that we were going to be okay, because the words He had given me were His words. 

How about you?  Are you finding yourself at the end of January with already burned out resolutions?  What words might God be waiting to give you?  How does He want to walk you down the path that He has seen and already prepared for you this year?  Take a moment and ask Him for the words He has for you in 2010.  His words will outlast and strengthen you long after all resolutions have dissolved.

Popularity: unranked [?]