A couple of weeks ago I was able to attend the Beth Moore simulcast weekend. If you’ve attended one of her weekend events, then you know how wonderful it was – and if you haven’t, let me encourage you to check one out in the future!

Towards the end of the weekend, Beth made a statement about the importance of being right or doing good. She was talking about it in the context of our community and our nation; how many Christians today are so intent about being right, that we miss doing good, reaching out, showing love.

I thought about her words in the week that followed and God pointed out to me that I can have this attitude of being right in my marriage too. How many times do you ever think “well, if my husband would only do it my way, we wouldn’t have a problem!”? Or, “if he would just listen to me, things would go more smoothly!” I can be so guilty of this! We can find ourselves wanting to be right so much that our hearts can start becoming hard and we can forget to show love to the person we’re supposed to love the most.

I’m going through the Love Dare study right now, which my husband doesn’t know, and I can tell you, I have seen a huge difference in our relationship simply by me making some subtle but important changes. How I talk to him, how I answer him, the things I do for him, the way I ask him to do things for me all carry weight and can impact our relationship. As the wife, I set the tone for the stability and spirit of our home. Again, am I insisting on being right? Or am I working at doing good in my marriage and for my husband?

Here’s an example the Love Dare brings up on Day 11 that I think is a good illustration for all of us to remember:

Consider these two scenarios.

A man’s older car begins having serious trouble, so he takes it to a mechanic. After an assessment is made, he is told it will need a complete overhaul, which would tax his limited budget. Because of the expensive repairs, he determines to get rid of the car and spend his funds on a new vehicle. Seems reasonable, right?

Another man, an engineer, accidentally crushes his hand in a piece of equipment. He rushes to the hospital and has it x-rayed, finding that numerous bones are broken. Although frustrated and in pain, he willingly uses his savings to have it doctored and placed in a cast, then gingerly nurses it back to health over the following months. This, too, probably seems reasonable to you.

The problem within our culture is that marriage is more often treated like the first scenario. When your relationship experiences difficulty, you are urged to dump your spouse for a “newer model.” But those who have this view do not understand the significant bond between a husband and wife. The truth is, marriage is more like the second scenario. You are a part of one another. You would never cut off your hand if it was injured but would pay whatever you could afford for the best medical treatment possible. That’s because your hand is priceless to you. It is part of who you are.

So, do you want to be right when you have an argument with your husband, so much so that eventually you see no need for him? Or do you want to do good, loving him despite his faults, praying for him daily, being the wife God has called you to be? Remembering that the two of you complete one another and how you treat him is how you ultimately treat yourself?

(Please make no mistake, though, the above refers to normal irritations and arguments that happen in the typical marriage. If your husband is abusive in any way towards you, if he does things that emotionally or physically puts you or your children in danger, you are obligated to get away from him and to seek help!)

The next time you find yourself fighting for the “I’m Right” Gold Sticker with your spouse, ask God to help you soften your heart and show you how you can  do good for your husband. We often treat our spouses in ways we would never dream of treating other people – what do you think might happen if you were more intentional in showing your love?

Even if your husband is currently deployed, you can still find ways to show him love. Check out the Deployment Love Dare for ideas.

Popularity: 1% [?]