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Archive for Military Wives – Page 2

Summer Study: Tour of Duty Week Four

Today marks the official halfway point of our 8-week study! Congratulations! You are doing great!

Discussion Questions for Embracing the Detours

1. What unexpected disasters have you experienced in your spouse’s absence? Share both the funny and the serious.

2. This week you learned about the value of trusting God in the middle of chaotic situations and drama. What tips or techniques do you call on to stay calm when the unexpected comes calling?

3. Detours are not always bad things. What fun experiences did you list to answer the question on page 43 regarding the back-road detours?

4. Which detour seems to hit home with you the most – marriage detours, family detours, financial detours, or life detours? How can you better cope with these particular detours?

5. Detours in deployment happen to every military family. How did you learn this week to face these detours with confidence in God rather than to take on a defeated mentality?

6. A challenge from this week was to get off the sidelines and run the race God has for you. How can you put this challenge into action this coming week?

7. You spent a lot of time this week in Genesis 39-42, studying the life of Joseph. What stood out to you in those scripture passages as you studied them?

8. Joseph learned from his detours and his unfortunate experiences, and they helped him to be the leader he was in the end. How have your detours and unfortunate experiences made you more thankful or more equipped to handle life’s situations and circumstances?

9. What else about the chapter that stood out to you this week you’d like to share with us?

Homework for next week: Read Chapter 4, The Desert of Enough in Tour of Duty.

 

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Coups for Troops Program Gives Military Families the Gift of Savings

NASHVILLE – Wives of Faith has announced the re-launch of their coupon program for military families effective immediately. Coups for Troops was started in 2009 as a practical outreach of the faith-based support ministry for military spouses. After a successful first year where more than 35,000 coupons were distributed to ten families serving overseas, the program was halted due to lack of donations to pay for shipping. However, with the current surge of interest in couponing and savings, Wives of Faith has restarted the program.

“We’ve had so many requests in recent weeks from both ladies interested in contributing coupons and military spouses anxious to receive them that we’ve decided to give the program another try,” said Sara Horn, founder of Wives of Faith. Horn will coordinate the coupon donations and distribution.

More than 15 military wives living overseas have signed up to receive the coupons.

“Our biggest need, though, is not coupons – we receive plenty of those from some wonderfully generous contributors we affectionately call Clippies,” said Horn. “Our greatest need is monetary donations to cover the cost of shipping.”
Currently, a small flat-rate box mailed overseas cost $13.95. Multiply that times 15 or more families, and the costs add up, particularly since it’s the goal of the ministry that each participating military family receives a coupon package once every three months.

“We’re asking the general public to consider becoming a Savings Sponsor, and sponsor one, two or three boxes to ensure these families receive their coupon packages,” said Horn.

For complete instructions and to sign up to participate, go to www.wivesoffaith.org/ministries/coups-for-troops. Or for more information, email coupons@wivesoffaith.org.

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Wives of Faith is a faith-based military spouse support ministry whose mission is to support, encourage and connect the military wife while encouraging her to grow spiritually in her relationship with Christ.

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Don’t let a Government Shut Down Shut You Down (PART 1)

Like most of you reading this, I’ve watched the news closely this week as our government tries to come to an agreement on a national budget. Within that debate, the bigger question for military families, of course, has been whether we will still be able to expect a paycheck.

Spouses are worried. Frantic. Angry. Disgusted. I’ve read the Facebook posts and the Twitter tweets and the blog entries. We’re indignant. It’s a slap in the face of so many sacrifices we feel our service members – and we, in turn, who stand beside them – already offer.

I had similar feelings three years ago, when my husband, a Navy reservist, returned home from his first deployment and his civilian job eliminated his position just six months later, something we felt they’d probably planned while he was away.  I felt those feelings over and over every time he made it to the final interview of a prospective job (and there were many), only to be told they were “going another direction.” As in – far, far away from any possibility their new employee might be called off to lands unknown for any length of time.

Where was the thanks? Where was the care?

Where’s the thanks today as our government weighs the lives and livelihoods of military families on scales measured for political points?

My husband is currently in the middle of his second deployment and we miss him like an astronaut misses Earth’s oxygen. Internet communication is choppy at best. I long for a chance to have a conversation without him sounding like Mr. Roboto or every other word dropping into a cyber black hole. Our discussions have been reduced to quick bytes of text. The important ones: I love you. I miss you. I’m praying for you.

When you think about what’s being threatened and that the basics may be taken away from families who already feel they’ve given a lot, it’s easy to get upset. To get angry. To feel offended. Scared. Panicked.

But going through two years of unemployment, not knowing when the next check would come or what the next source of income would be, has taught me something I want to share in hopes it may encourage you:

God is in control. And He provides. My husband and I saw it over and over during those two years and I trust we will see it during this crisis, should our government be unable to come to a resolution before the impending deadline. We learned what mattered most, we learned what we could do without, and most important, we learned the blessing of drawing in to God when there was nothing left. It’s a lesson we’ve tried to continue to remember even in times of having more than we had during those days.

Crisis situations remind us where our faith and our trust must be. And it’s not on the politicians in Washington. It’s not on whatever savings we may have been lucky, or wise, to have put away for rainy days such as the one we’re looking at right now. When we face a crisis, we have choices on how we respond: we can look every which way for an answer of our own making, or we can look to the One who created all of us in the first place.

While the politicians are pointing fingers at each other right now, I’d like to challenge all of us to point ours to God. To remind ourselves of His promises. Of His assurances we can find in His Word.

If you know God, and I hope you do, you know the peace He gives when storms come. Sometimes it’s easier to remember with our heads than with our hearts, but it is in a crisis, that God desires all the more for us to come to Him. Because when it seems there is no way out, God loves to make a way. If you don’t know God, I’d love to tell you about Him. (Please email me at sara@wivesoffaith.org).

There are a lot of folks today who have no peace and they are looking for it. They don’t know God. They don’t have that relationship with Him.  This crisis will eventually be averted. The money will come back and life will continue. But if you’re a believer, how you respond can have more weight than anything Congress does. What do you look like on Facebook? With your friends in the commissary? Are you joining in the chorus of “the sky is falling?” Or are you standing still in the storm, listening for His voice? To calm the storm? Or to calm you?

This is a moment to reach out – not batten down the hatches and close the doors. Help your sister military spouses. Work together to encourage and find ways to conserve resources. Maybe that means having a few potluck meals with neighbors on your street, sharing what you have. Sit down and help each other figure out what bills need prioritizing and what can be let go (if you have been faithful in paying bills on time, one missed payment should not effect your credit score as I’ve seen so many worrying about).

Here’s my challenge for all of us as we wait to see what happens in D.C. Choose one of the scriptures below today and post it on your Facebook, your Twitter, your blogs. Determine today to stand in faith, trusting God that no matter what happens, He is in control. And be bold enough to say it!

Will you do it? Will you stand when it counts the most? Comment here with the verse you use and/or a link to your page or blog.

Don’t let a government shut down shut you down!

Come back on Monday when I’ll share Part 2 of my thoughts about all this, and what we can learn from it.

Verses for Wives of Faith:

Romans 8:28 – “And we know, that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him who are called according to His purpose.”

Ephesians 3:12-13 – “In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. I ask you, therefore not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory.”

Ephesians 6:10 – “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.”

Philippians 3:7-8 – “But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things…”

Philippians 4:6 – “Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:19 – “Ad my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 – “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.”

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Have You Hugged a Military Spouse Today?

This post originally was shared at A Woman Inspired last year in March of 2010. With our military families now closing in on 10 years of ongoing deployments, I thought I’d share this again. Let me encourage you to show it to your friends, your churches and your communities. This isn’t written to the military spouse, but to those who desire to support our service members and their families. Sometimes it’s hard to say it yourself. So let this article say it for you. Feel free to post it on your own blog or site, just be sure to include a link back to Wives of Faith. ~Sara

As the leader of a military wives faith-based support organization and a military wife myself, I’m often asked by women’s ministry leaders and churches what they can do to support military wives and their families. You might be unsure of how to minister to an older woman with cancer or a young mom with twins if you have never experienced those things yourself, and in the same way it can be hard to know what to do for a military wife if you’ve never walked in her shoes.

It’s easy to assume that if you don’t live near a major military installation that military wives don’t exist in your community. But there are more than a million military spouses in our Armed Forces today and military wives are everywhere – National Guard and Reserve families often live far away from where their respective bases are, and active wives make the choice to move home and live with family when their husbands are overseas. This gives you and your church some wonderful opportunities to make a difference for our military by supporting their families while they’re away.

Connect with a military wife

If you meet a military wife whose husband is away for deployment, make a point to check on her regularly and let her know you’re praying for her. Deployment is not an experience you “get used to.” It’s an emotional roller coaster from beginning to end and there are good days but there are hard days too.

With all the technology available today to connect with our loved ones, we can still go days and weeks and sometimes months without a phone call, an email or a letter. We can get lost in all that we’re responsible for and forget to make time for ourselves. Sleep can become an issue for a lot of women when they’re not used to sleeping alone and the quiet of the house at night gives them the first chance they’ve had all day to really think about their husbands being away. Exhaustion can make a hard situation even worse and fray our emotions completely.

One of the absolute best gifts I received during my husband’s first deployment was when my friend Allison, another military wife, sent me an email on behalf of her small group from church and asked me to make a list of things I needed help with around the house. She had asked me this a couple of times before and I’d always dodged the request, but when she sent an email in black and white, I relented and put together a list of little to big things I needed to get done, thinking I’d give enough options that the group would find a couple of things they would be willing to do. On a warm spring Saturday, eight to ten friends I’d never met came over to my house and took care of absolutely everything on my list. And at the end of the day, what touched me most wasn’t the honey-do chores they’d completed for me, though I was very grateful for their help; it was the fact that they’d reached out in a physical way and let me know I wasn’t alone.

Do something

One of the hardest things for a military wife to hear is “Let me know if I can do anything to help.” It’s very difficult to ask someone else for help, especially if you’re unsure of what that person is willing to do.

The best thing you can do to help a military wife is to put yourself in her shoes and like the Nike commercial said, just do it! Would you get tired of planning dinner and cooking for a year without a break? Give her a gift card to eat out or call her up and let her know you’re bringing dinner tonight. Would you have trouble knowing what to do with the car or the yard during the peak of summer? Rally the men in your small group to help change the oil or share yard duties. Would you be worn out if you were responsible for your kids 24/7 without another adult to give you a break occasionally? Offer to take the kids for an afternoon so she can do whatever she wants. Would it be hard for you to put Christmas lights up or other holiday decorations by yourself? Offer to do it for her.

If you offer to put a care package together for her husband, don’t forget to put a little package together for her – bubble bath, Starbucks cards, or a little book of Bible Promises are all little things that can make a world of difference for a military wife and give her encouragement and hope to keep going. And chocolate! Don’t forget the chocolate!

Be sensitive

As much as you want to be able to help and appear understanding to her needs, resist the temptation to compare your husband’s two-week business trip to her husband’s year-long deployment. Unless your husband is also trying to avoid mortars and IEDs (improvised explosive devices), it’s really not the same.

Avoid saying things like “I don’t know how you do it,” or “I can’t imagine being in your shoes.” Most of the time she doesn’t know how she does it either, but it’s the only choice she has – to do it or give up.

Encourage her. Tell her what a great job she’s doing and how her husband will be so proud to hear how well she’s doing holding down the fort at home. And then make sure he does hear how well she’s doing.

If a military wife is in your small group at church, make sure there are enough activities happening she can attend that aren’t strictly couples-oriented. Consider holding off on that Love and Respect marriage study and do another study that she’ll be able to feel included in. When you do have events such as Christmas parties or Super Bowl parties, make a point to call her and make sure she’s coming; there’s a greater chance she will if she knows someone will miss her if she doesn’t.

Support those who support our heroes
Military wives don’t want pity or to be felt sorry for, but they can use prayer, encouragement and all the emotional support they can get. Ask most service members what their greatest worry is when they’re deployed and they may surprise you when they say it’s not getting wounded or killed – it’s making sure their families are okay back home.

I believe God can use the hardest of times, like deployments, to grow us and stretch us and make us into the daughters He wants us to be. But we need others to come along side us in the journey.

Help to make sure that the spouse and family are well taken care of and you also help take care of the soldier. So feel free to pass those hugs out to military spouses today – they will thank you for it!

Sara Horn is the founder of Wives of Faith (www.wivesoffaith.org) and the author of GOD Strong: A Military Wife’s Spiritual Survival Guide and Tour of Duty: Preparing Our Hearts for Deployment, A Bible Study for Military Wives. She enjoys speaking to both women’s and military wives groups about God’s incredible strength. Email her at sara@sarahorn.com.

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Stretching During Deployment

In this deployment (and the months leading up to it beginning) I have really felt God grow me and stretch me.  That has been my specific prayer since last January when we received word that Jason would be deploying again.

Deployment was not my plan.
It was not on my list.
Not even close.

This  prayer was not my intial response.  Its hard to re-live the thought of how I reacted.  It was not a reaction of a woman completely trusting a sovereign God.  It was not the reaction of a woman who had complete faith in the journey that He was placing me on. I recall asking why (a lot).  I know that God knew me and knew how I was hurting.  I knew He understood my questions, even though He wanted my complete trust in Him and not my questions.  And I slowly began to realize that it was not for me to question.  That I just needed to have complete faith in the One who determines that this was my journey.

And so I started praying for God to grow me and stretch me.  And He has–oh, He has.  He has taken me out of my comfort zone of complacency (how thankful I am for that).  He has opened a door for me through my position as Member Care Director for Wives of Faith–something I would not have ever been able to do on my own, but I know that it happened because I asked Him to grow me.  And He did.  What a blessing it has been to me.  I kept praying though.  Kept asking Him to grow me…to take me where He wanted me to go.

And He did.  Faithful provider, He did.

I felt an urging to start a Bible study with military spouses. I have never led a study before.  I always relied on others to do that.   I had no idea what to study.  No idea where to begin. I thought, Are you sure you have the right person for this? So I just prayed about that, not knowing that my friend Sara was already in the process of writing a Bible study aimed specifically at military spouses (you see where I am going with this…He is in every single detail!).  Then Sara contacted me asking me to proof the study before it was sent to the publishers…I knew just a couple pages into it that this was the study I needed to do.

As soon as Sara let me know the book was published I purchased my book and put the word out (via email, facebook, my blog) that I would be doing a study for military spouses facing deployment if anyone was interested in joining me (I was nervous that no one would contact me.  Its hard connecting with military spouses when your not active duty).  But they did.

There are about eight of us in the study.  It has been wonderful and we are only two sessions into it.  I cannot wait to see what is revealed to us.  Can not wait to hear what the other ladies are learning.  We met this past Friday night.  Our study lasted four hours! (we had no idea it was 11 pm…and probably would not have noticed if someone would not have called wondering where their mom was!).  It was amazing. It was four hours of reading and researching God’s word (I know, a bunch of women get together and you are probably thinking…mmhhhmmm sure, the whole four hours? but yes, it really was).  I look forward to sharing what I am learning.  Maybe I can even convince a couple of the ladies to do a guest post type of thing and get them to share.

In deployment, it is typical for me to have goals….lose weight, get things organized, pay off all debts except house (did that one in deployment #2), maybe re-do a room or two or three, save for a big vacation, etc. Those are a few of my goals.  I am working on a blog post to share those with you.  And while those things are all well and good, are they really what I want to accomplish?

When I look back at this deployment, do I want to just see a checklist of completed goals?  Or do I want to see something more?  What do I really want to accomplish?  The answer is simple (though the means to reach it may not always be easy).  The answer is I want to accomplish His work.  The work that He gave me to do so that in the end it is all for His glory and not about me.

So, let me take this time to encourage you.  No matter what your journey is, ask God to grow you in it.  You know that He is with you in the journey, now trust Him to take you somewhere you would never go on your own.  Trust Him to equip you to do His work.

Jessica is the Wives of Faith Member Care Director and mother of two. Visit her personal blog, which this post is excerpted from, at Just 4 Crows.

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