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Summer Study: Tour of Duty Week Two

Hi ladies! Welcome to Week Two of our online study! I hope you’ve had a chance to read the first chapter and answer the questions. Don’t forget to take time to comment about your thoughts and also, comment on what others in the group say.

Please be sure to look at the discussion questions posted below and answer those in the comments of this post. Please know that if there are some questions listed you don’t feel comfortable in answering, that’s ok. Share your answers and also feel free to add any comments or thoughts you had about the chapter as you went through it. Remember that the more you share, the more you can encourage and bless or challenge other ladies who may be the ones who need to hear what you say!

Ch. 1 – The Road Less Traveled Discussion Questions

1. What were your initial thoughts about this chapter/this topic this week? What’s one thing that stuck out to you?

2. On pg. 11, what were your early expectations when you were first married or you first became a military wife?

3. What are some of the things you’ve done to prepare for deployment?

4. In this chapter, we describe deployment as hills, valleys, sharp turns, U-turns, thick fog, desert heat and stormy wet roads. Have you experienced some of these conditions? Which ones? What are you experiencing now?

5. In the section, “God has His best in mind for us” (p. 13), we talk about the big picture and “God’s best” versus “our best.” What is the difference? How have you seen this played out in your own life?

6. We talked about choosing bitterness versus trusting God. It’s easy to resent God for what He allows to happen to us. How can you trust Him despite your circumstances?

7. Which letter of the SET acronym do you struggle with the most? What steps can you take to struggle less with it?

8. What’s the hardest thing about deployment for you? What do you need to do to turn this fear/challenge/struggle over to God? (And how can the rest of us pray for you in this?)

YOUR HOMEWORK FOR THIS WEEK: Read Chapter 2 in Tour of Duty.

 

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New Summer Study Helps With Deployment

NASHVILLE, TN – This summer, Wives of Faith will offer an online Bible study specifically to help and encourage military wives going through deployment beginning June 6 through July 25. An 8-week study, Tour of Duty: Preparing Our Hearts for Deployment, A Bible Study for Military Wives, was written by Wives of Faith founder Sara Horn as she prepared for her husband’s second deployment and desired to be more prepared spiritually.

“We are so good about getting everything ready before our husbands leave,” said Horn. “We get the house ready, we try to prepare the kids, each other, the finances, the paperwork. But how often do we take the time to prepare spiritually and look to God for what He wants to teach us during this time?”

This is the second time Wives of Faith has offered the study online. The first online study, held in February of this year, had more than 100 wives from all over the country and various overseas duty stations, participate.

The book is available only through LifeWay and LifeWay Christian Stores. To register for the study, click here. For more information, email Wives of Faith at hello@wivesoffaith.org.

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New WoF Group Launches in Louisiana

ZACHARY, LA – As the United States prepares to mark 10 years of war this fall, military spouses are finding themselves in need of support more than ever, enduring multiple deployments and increased stresses that come with them. Wives of Faith, a Christian faith-based military wives support ministry, is starting a new local group in the East Baton Rouge area and hopes to connect and encourage local military wives through practical resources and spiritual support.

The mission of this ministry, started in 2006 in Nashville, is to connect all military wives in all branches of service including active, retired, Reserve, and Guard, who are looking for encouragement and friendships with others sharing similar life experiences.

The East Baton Rouge Wives of Faith group will officially launch with an informational (dutch-treat) dinner Monday, May 23 at 6 p.m. at Sammy’s Grill (20335 Old Scenic Hwy.) in Zachary and will be led by Sara Horn, author and founder of Wives of Faith. Children are welcome but registration is required in order to get an accurate count of those attending.

For more information or to sign up to attend, visit http://www.wivesoffaith.org or email Sara at sara@wivesoffaith.org.

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Don’t let a Government Shut Down Shut You Down (PART 1)

Like most of you reading this, I’ve watched the news closely this week as our government tries to come to an agreement on a national budget. Within that debate, the bigger question for military families, of course, has been whether we will still be able to expect a paycheck.

Spouses are worried. Frantic. Angry. Disgusted. I’ve read the Facebook posts and the Twitter tweets and the blog entries. We’re indignant. It’s a slap in the face of so many sacrifices we feel our service members – and we, in turn, who stand beside them – already offer.

I had similar feelings three years ago, when my husband, a Navy reservist, returned home from his first deployment and his civilian job eliminated his position just six months later, something we felt they’d probably planned while he was away.  I felt those feelings over and over every time he made it to the final interview of a prospective job (and there were many), only to be told they were “going another direction.” As in – far, far away from any possibility their new employee might be called off to lands unknown for any length of time.

Where was the thanks? Where was the care?

Where’s the thanks today as our government weighs the lives and livelihoods of military families on scales measured for political points?

My husband is currently in the middle of his second deployment and we miss him like an astronaut misses Earth’s oxygen. Internet communication is choppy at best. I long for a chance to have a conversation without him sounding like Mr. Roboto or every other word dropping into a cyber black hole. Our discussions have been reduced to quick bytes of text. The important ones: I love you. I miss you. I’m praying for you.

When you think about what’s being threatened and that the basics may be taken away from families who already feel they’ve given a lot, it’s easy to get upset. To get angry. To feel offended. Scared. Panicked.

But going through two years of unemployment, not knowing when the next check would come or what the next source of income would be, has taught me something I want to share in hopes it may encourage you:

God is in control. And He provides. My husband and I saw it over and over during those two years and I trust we will see it during this crisis, should our government be unable to come to a resolution before the impending deadline. We learned what mattered most, we learned what we could do without, and most important, we learned the blessing of drawing in to God when there was nothing left. It’s a lesson we’ve tried to continue to remember even in times of having more than we had during those days.

Crisis situations remind us where our faith and our trust must be. And it’s not on the politicians in Washington. It’s not on whatever savings we may have been lucky, or wise, to have put away for rainy days such as the one we’re looking at right now. When we face a crisis, we have choices on how we respond: we can look every which way for an answer of our own making, or we can look to the One who created all of us in the first place.

While the politicians are pointing fingers at each other right now, I’d like to challenge all of us to point ours to God. To remind ourselves of His promises. Of His assurances we can find in His Word.

If you know God, and I hope you do, you know the peace He gives when storms come. Sometimes it’s easier to remember with our heads than with our hearts, but it is in a crisis, that God desires all the more for us to come to Him. Because when it seems there is no way out, God loves to make a way. If you don’t know God, I’d love to tell you about Him. (Please email me at sara@wivesoffaith.org).

There are a lot of folks today who have no peace and they are looking for it. They don’t know God. They don’t have that relationship with Him.  This crisis will eventually be averted. The money will come back and life will continue. But if you’re a believer, how you respond can have more weight than anything Congress does. What do you look like on Facebook? With your friends in the commissary? Are you joining in the chorus of “the sky is falling?” Or are you standing still in the storm, listening for His voice? To calm the storm? Or to calm you?

This is a moment to reach out – not batten down the hatches and close the doors. Help your sister military spouses. Work together to encourage and find ways to conserve resources. Maybe that means having a few potluck meals with neighbors on your street, sharing what you have. Sit down and help each other figure out what bills need prioritizing and what can be let go (if you have been faithful in paying bills on time, one missed payment should not effect your credit score as I’ve seen so many worrying about).

Here’s my challenge for all of us as we wait to see what happens in D.C. Choose one of the scriptures below today and post it on your Facebook, your Twitter, your blogs. Determine today to stand in faith, trusting God that no matter what happens, He is in control. And be bold enough to say it!

Will you do it? Will you stand when it counts the most? Comment here with the verse you use and/or a link to your page or blog.

Don’t let a government shut down shut you down!

Come back on Monday when I’ll share Part 2 of my thoughts about all this, and what we can learn from it.

Verses for Wives of Faith:

Romans 8:28 – “And we know, that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him who are called according to His purpose.”

Ephesians 3:12-13 – “In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. I ask you, therefore not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory.”

Ephesians 6:10 – “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.”

Philippians 3:7-8 – “But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things…”

Philippians 4:6 – “Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:19 – “Ad my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 – “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.”

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Have You Hugged a Military Spouse Today?

This post originally was shared at A Woman Inspired last year in March of 2010. With our military families now closing in on 10 years of ongoing deployments, I thought I’d share this again. Let me encourage you to show it to your friends, your churches and your communities. This isn’t written to the military spouse, but to those who desire to support our service members and their families. Sometimes it’s hard to say it yourself. So let this article say it for you. Feel free to post it on your own blog or site, just be sure to include a link back to Wives of Faith. ~Sara

As the leader of a military wives faith-based support organization and a military wife myself, I’m often asked by women’s ministry leaders and churches what they can do to support military wives and their families. You might be unsure of how to minister to an older woman with cancer or a young mom with twins if you have never experienced those things yourself, and in the same way it can be hard to know what to do for a military wife if you’ve never walked in her shoes.

It’s easy to assume that if you don’t live near a major military installation that military wives don’t exist in your community. But there are more than a million military spouses in our Armed Forces today and military wives are everywhere – National Guard and Reserve families often live far away from where their respective bases are, and active wives make the choice to move home and live with family when their husbands are overseas. This gives you and your church some wonderful opportunities to make a difference for our military by supporting their families while they’re away.

Connect with a military wife

If you meet a military wife whose husband is away for deployment, make a point to check on her regularly and let her know you’re praying for her. Deployment is not an experience you “get used to.” It’s an emotional roller coaster from beginning to end and there are good days but there are hard days too.

With all the technology available today to connect with our loved ones, we can still go days and weeks and sometimes months without a phone call, an email or a letter. We can get lost in all that we’re responsible for and forget to make time for ourselves. Sleep can become an issue for a lot of women when they’re not used to sleeping alone and the quiet of the house at night gives them the first chance they’ve had all day to really think about their husbands being away. Exhaustion can make a hard situation even worse and fray our emotions completely.

One of the absolute best gifts I received during my husband’s first deployment was when my friend Allison, another military wife, sent me an email on behalf of her small group from church and asked me to make a list of things I needed help with around the house. She had asked me this a couple of times before and I’d always dodged the request, but when she sent an email in black and white, I relented and put together a list of little to big things I needed to get done, thinking I’d give enough options that the group would find a couple of things they would be willing to do. On a warm spring Saturday, eight to ten friends I’d never met came over to my house and took care of absolutely everything on my list. And at the end of the day, what touched me most wasn’t the honey-do chores they’d completed for me, though I was very grateful for their help; it was the fact that they’d reached out in a physical way and let me know I wasn’t alone.

Do something

One of the hardest things for a military wife to hear is “Let me know if I can do anything to help.” It’s very difficult to ask someone else for help, especially if you’re unsure of what that person is willing to do.

The best thing you can do to help a military wife is to put yourself in her shoes and like the Nike commercial said, just do it! Would you get tired of planning dinner and cooking for a year without a break? Give her a gift card to eat out or call her up and let her know you’re bringing dinner tonight. Would you have trouble knowing what to do with the car or the yard during the peak of summer? Rally the men in your small group to help change the oil or share yard duties. Would you be worn out if you were responsible for your kids 24/7 without another adult to give you a break occasionally? Offer to take the kids for an afternoon so she can do whatever she wants. Would it be hard for you to put Christmas lights up or other holiday decorations by yourself? Offer to do it for her.

If you offer to put a care package together for her husband, don’t forget to put a little package together for her – bubble bath, Starbucks cards, or a little book of Bible Promises are all little things that can make a world of difference for a military wife and give her encouragement and hope to keep going. And chocolate! Don’t forget the chocolate!

Be sensitive

As much as you want to be able to help and appear understanding to her needs, resist the temptation to compare your husband’s two-week business trip to her husband’s year-long deployment. Unless your husband is also trying to avoid mortars and IEDs (improvised explosive devices), it’s really not the same.

Avoid saying things like “I don’t know how you do it,” or “I can’t imagine being in your shoes.” Most of the time she doesn’t know how she does it either, but it’s the only choice she has – to do it or give up.

Encourage her. Tell her what a great job she’s doing and how her husband will be so proud to hear how well she’s doing holding down the fort at home. And then make sure he does hear how well she’s doing.

If a military wife is in your small group at church, make sure there are enough activities happening she can attend that aren’t strictly couples-oriented. Consider holding off on that Love and Respect marriage study and do another study that she’ll be able to feel included in. When you do have events such as Christmas parties or Super Bowl parties, make a point to call her and make sure she’s coming; there’s a greater chance she will if she knows someone will miss her if she doesn’t.

Support those who support our heroes
Military wives don’t want pity or to be felt sorry for, but they can use prayer, encouragement and all the emotional support they can get. Ask most service members what their greatest worry is when they’re deployed and they may surprise you when they say it’s not getting wounded or killed – it’s making sure their families are okay back home.

I believe God can use the hardest of times, like deployments, to grow us and stretch us and make us into the daughters He wants us to be. But we need others to come along side us in the journey.

Help to make sure that the spouse and family are well taken care of and you also help take care of the soldier. So feel free to pass those hugs out to military spouses today – they will thank you for it!

Sara Horn is the founder of Wives of Faith (www.wivesoffaith.org) and the author of GOD Strong: A Military Wife’s Spiritual Survival Guide and Tour of Duty: Preparing Our Hearts for Deployment, A Bible Study for Military Wives. She enjoys speaking to both women’s and military wives groups about God’s incredible strength. Email her at sara@sarahorn.com.

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