Between my husband being a military officer and our mutual southern upbringing, the children had no chance to escape drills when it came to manners.  My husband was famous for the “yes ma’am, no ma’am, yes sir, no sir” drills.  My focus lent itself more towards the courtesy words.  If I only had a dollar for all the times the words came out of my mouth, “Now, what do you say?”  Most of the time, they would look at me and dutifully repeat, thank you, please or whatever magic word they knew I was looking for at the time.  However, there were some exceptions.

For two of my children, manners seemed to come fairly easily.  Born ten years apart, they both knew how to do and say the proper thing at the proper time.  This was not the case for our other son.  He was a sweet boy, but few of the social graces came naturally to him.  When we would shop at the store, I had to instruct him repeatedly that it was not okay to walk around and stand with the cashier by her cash register.  During preschool, I came to pick him up one day only to find a very angry teacher explaining to me that he had told her she was fat during the course of the day.  The woman was significantly overweight, which made it very difficult to convince my son that he had misspoken.  It was challenging to say the least.

Today when I look at him, it is hard to believe the young man he has become grew out of the boy with no boundaries.  He is the life of the party, funny and entertaining, someone people love having around and a very compassionate man who often gets complimented on his manners.  Yet, when he was a little boy, I often thought these days would never come.  I would wonder, “What am I doing wrong?  When will he ever learn?”

I wonder if my Father ever asks himself those questions about my training.  “What am I doing wrong?  When will she ever learn?”  He so patiently trains me and teaches me about learning to say thank you.  His word reminds me over and over.

And be thankful.  Col. 3:15b

Let us be thankful.  Heb. 12:28b

Give thanks to the Lord.  1 Chronicles 16:8a

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in

Christ Jesus.  1 Thessalonians 5:18

Yet so often, in spite of all those admonitions, I tend to focus on what is missing in my life.  Thoughts like, “wouldn’t it be great if . . . . . . .” spur around in my brain where I imagine my idea of the perfect life for myself, my family – immediate and extended, my friends, my neighborhood, my country and my world.  But life is not perfect in this world.  And my mind can so easily latch onto those imperfections and turn them over and over in my brain.  This process rarely leads to peace in my mind or heart, much less my home.

How about you?  Am I the only one struggling with my Father’s training?  Where does your mind want to hang on to “what if” instead of a simple focus on “thank you”? The days when I choose to listen to my Father’s gentle reminder, “What do we say?” and simply focus on thanksgiving can become almost magical.  Even in the days that are not good.  Searching for a reason to “give thanks in everything” sets my mind in a very different direction than a “wouldn’t it be great if” mindset.  Where is the good in this hour?  What are the multitudes of blessings in my life?

In the sum total of things, even on the difficult days, I am an obnoxiously spoiled brat of my Father.  He has reaped on my head enough blessings to last multiple lifetimes.  I just need to listen to His gentle reminders to see them.

“What do you say, my child?”

Thank you.

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