Congratulations to Jessica G., who wins a copy of Faith Deployed…Again from Jocelyn!

Recently I had the privilege of reviewing Faith Deployed…Again, a daily devotional written by and for military wives.  During that time I got to correspond with author Jocelyn Green a bit, and she has so graciously offered an author interview.  I hope you are inspired, comforted, and questions are answered for you, the military wife, as you read.

Question #1- What are some ways biblical thinking can easily get off track with a military lifestyle?

Jocelyn: I will give you some examples from my own life.

· Rank is a huge part of the military. Yet as Christians we are supposed to treat everyone the same. This is easier for the spouses, perhaps, than for the active duty members because of certain protocols. The problem comes in when the wives think they have the ranks of their husbands.

· Personally, my thinking got derailed when I compared my trials to someone else’s and thought mine were tougher, which short-circuited any tendencies toward compassion. For instance, I would listen to someone in Bible study share that she really missed her sister who had moved away, and my initial reaction, I’m ashamed to say, was to think, “Try being a military wife! We hardly ever get to live near our extended families. We don’t even live with our own husbands half the time!” My reaction did not match up with God’s command to bear one another’s burdens.

· On a military base, word travels fast and it’s easy to know what’s going on in lots of other families. It can be a situation ripe for gossip, jealousy, etc.

· Going through the hardships of deployment, many wives give themselves special indulgences to help make it through. Healthy treats are a great idea—exercise, a visit with a friend, etc.—but when those indulgences turn unhealthy—such as confiding in a sympathetic man other than one’s husband or an excess of shopping or eating, it ends up harming more than helping. The thought behind an unhealthy habit like this is “I deserve to be happy, I deserve to treat myself in this way”- which isn’t exactly biblical.

Question #2:  What are some recurrent struggles military wives seem to face?

Jocelyn: First of all, not every military wife deals with all of these things, but these are all issues that are very likely to come up.

· Isolation, especially now with so many Reservists and National Guardsmen being deployed. Active duty spouses feel isolated for a time after every move as they adjust to a new location, but they can normally relate to others in the same situations. Many times wives of Reservists and National Guardsmen are invisible to their communities if they are not attached to a base.

· Contentment. This is a biggie. It’s hard to be content when your husband is being deployed for the second or third time and you are a single parent to your children—or when your husband misses the birth of your child, or perhaps when your housing situation isn’t as comfortable as you’d like it to be.

·Resentment. This goes hand in hand with contentment.  If you’re discontent for long enough, it’s easy to become resentful of your husband, of the military, or of those who have life better than you (either in the military or civilian world). Resentment is poisonous.

· Fear during deployment can be all-consuming.

· Emotional connection is difficult with husband sometimes—it’s easy to fall into an emotional affair with another man if you’re not careful.

Question #3:   What are some special challenges military wives face that may go unnoticed by civilians?

Jocelyn:

· When the deployment is over and the husband comes home, it’s not always happily ever after. There is a big adjustment period for the family, and many times that reintegration period is more difficult than the deployment itself, especially if the returning spouse is dealing with combat trauma stress.

· Since every move is because of the active duty member’s orders, it’s difficult to not feel like just a tag-along. I was haunted by feeling like my husband clearly had a purpose in moving to Homer, Alaska from Washington D.C., but what was my purpose there? Did I have any? Of course God has a plan for every wife just as much as he does for every husband, but finding out what that is can be a challenge.

· Asking for help is another big deal. Wives are labeled “dependents” in the military, but they are so independent because they just have to be able to do everything themselves. That’s great to be so capable, but there will be times when outside help is necessary. And that point, many wives are so self-reliant (and proud of it) that it’s difficult to admit they need help. I was the same way.

· Stamina and perseverance are requirements to weather so many moves and deployments. Many wives are energized by the frequent moves—it’s quite an adventure—but it’s also exhausting to learn your way around new communities every two or three years. It takes energy to make new friends and say goodbye that often too—at least, if you’re an introvert, especially.

Question #4:   What are some examples of Scripture passages that may hold special meaning for military wives?

Jocelyn:

“Hallelujah! For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.” It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints” (Revelation 19: 6-8). Military wives know what it means to get ready for a husband’s homecoming. This Scripture reminds us to be even more diligent about preparing ourselves as the bride of Christ.

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). This verse tells us that we are not just following our husbands around, but God has specific things for each one of us to do as well. It helps us to know we can fulfill the time instead of just filling it until our husband comes home.

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling” (Psalm 68:5). This is a great comfort for those wives who feel overwhelmed at being both parents (father and mother) to their children while the husband is away, or if God forbid, the husband and father is killed in action.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39). What a wonderful promise for wives who experience the heartache of separation from their earthly husbands all too often. The Bible is absolutely full of promises, lessons, challenges and encouragement that applies beautifully to the military wife. That’s really why I wanted to put together both Faith Deployed and Faith Deployed . . . Again. I want every military wife to know that God has something to say to you!

Question #5:   Why is it critical to pay special attention to supporting the military wife?

Jocelyn:

If the military wife is supported, she will have much more ability to support her husband and her children in a way only she can. If she is too stressed out, her entire family will feel it. Her kids will suffer, she may resent her husband’s service, and if she tells him as much, he will be distracted from his duties. If he is thinking about the trials for his family back home, he will have a much harder time giving undivided attention to his mission. Also, if the wife isn’t getting support from appropriate sources, she will be more prone to confide in a man other than her husband who makes her feel special – which is the start of an emotional affair. So when we support military wives, we really are supporting the entire family, including the troop overseas.

Question #6:   How can military wives support one another?

Jocelyn:

Military wives can support each other in a way that no one else can. You know just what your fellow military wife needs because you have probably been there yourself. So let her know what she is feeling is normal. Bring her a meal, or get her out of the house for a coffee date. Watch her kids so she can go take care of herself. Most of all, be a source of positive encouragement. Don’t feed any tendency toward self-pity or bitterness, but pray with and for her when times get rough, and always point to the ultimate source of our hope: Jesus.
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Thank you, Jocelyn, for taking the time to participate in this interview for Wives of Faith. I  for one am very thankful for other military wives who have spent much time and effort to demonstrate to me that this life is God-ordained and he has a plan for us as military wives.  Many blessings to you and your family!

To learn more about the ministry of Faith Deployed or to read an excerpt from Faith Deployed…Again, please visit www.faithdeployed.com

Along with the interview, Jocelyn has so graciously offered to give away a copy of Faith Deployed…Again.  For a chance to win a copy of this devotional, please leave a comment below.  Contest will end on Friday, September 16, at noon Eastern time.  A winner will be drawn and announced that afternoon.

Special thanks to Moody Publishers for a review copy of this book, and Jocelyn Green for providing a giveaway copy
for Wives of Faith.

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