What Do You Struggle With the Most?
December 9th, 2008 | 
Author: Wow, it’s been quiet lately. I apologize for my own absence here – after the conference, I had to go out of town for a couple of weeks and didn’t have the internet access I needed to blog. And there has been quite a bit going on with family, house and other things. I am still behind on emails, so if you’ve emailed, I will do my best to get to you soon.
Since I realize it’s been quite a while since I last blogged, I’m going to try doing something a little different this week. As I’ve been reading Exodus this week and the story of Moses leading God’s people out of Egypt, I’ve been mulling around the comparison of how Moses felt so inadequate in his God-chosen role and how we as military wives often share that same struggle as well.
Instead of writing about it though, I think I’d like to video blog about it. A lot of my friends are doing this now, so I thought it would be fun to try. But I need your help.
I am posting this VBQ – Video Blog Question – of the week, in hopes that you’ll answer it. On Friday (or next Monday at the latest), I’ll post my video blog and incorporate some of the responses I receive. If you know other military wives, please let them know about this. I’d like to have as much response as possible, which is why I am cross-posting this on my own blog as well as my facebook and twitter accounts.
So here’s the VBQ:
As a military wife, what do you struggle with the most? If your answer is “deployment” – what specifically about the deployment? If your answer is “meeting other people” – what is it specifically that is hard about meeting other people?
I think many of us will be interested in seeing that our struggles are not so different. And in my first video blog, we will talk about those feelings of inadequacy we all have from time to time, just as Moses did, and the three truths that remind us why we are never inadequate in God’s eyes.
So comment with your thoughts and I may share them in my first Video Blog! Stay tuned! 
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Wow…this came at a time when I’m feeling really alone. My husband is at training (in the states) and has been gone since May -with some occasional visits home here and there. (It’s just two dogs and myself at home while I work and do grad school)
Right now, I just feel alone and even that my emotions aren’t being respected by him. I feel horrible for saying that, but it’s how I feel. I know he’s busy writing Op Orders, doing classes, FTXs, and all that…and I know for a fact that he’s stressed. I completely acknowledge that….am I being selfish?
I asked him to call me when he got a break today so he did…I asked if he had enough time to talk about some “serious stuff” and he said yeah. So I told him exactly what I just said here…and he seemed to get defensive -but I didn’t mean to attack at all! I told him that too. So he said that he had to let me go b/c he couldn’t drive and talk on post (which yes is true). So…there I am….left hanging, cryin’ in my office when I just brought up some pretty heavy stuff (for me, at least). Is it a man thing? Lol..probably so. But that doesn’t stop it from making me upset.
I just want to know that my feelings are being acknowledged and that I’m still a priority -even with the training and all that’s going on.
I’ve been with my husband the entire time he’s been in the military but we just got married in October. He mobilized at the end of November and is set to leave the country some time next month. This is his first deployment.
I think right now the thing I’m struggling with most is not knowing what to expect. I have no idea what kind of communication we will have. We’ve been separated more than a few times but never for this long. His father (who was a marine) keeps telling me that this next year will be extremely hard. I wish he’d stop.
I’m also stuggling with trying not to worry myself too much. I know that if I let it go to God he will guide me and keep me strong. But as I’m sure you know, that is much easier said than done…
I absolutely know the answer to this one, It’s been on my mind ever since i set out to do it so many months ago and thats smoking, i don’t know what to do with myself if I can’t smoke. I’m so mad at myself for falling back I find myself beating myslelf up about it or just giving up. Which I found neither of them work. I hate that I am so weak o fall into this temptation so easy and I feel like it’s hard to hear his voice. Sometimes I think I know what He’s saying only to find out it wasn’t and it makes me all the more scared that I can’t differenciate. My husband and I get along now that I am not full blown out to really change myself. I know I was being too judgemental at first and I realize that now although I know there’s some other deeper issues there about God that really got in the way. About people dying and why it happens and who knows what else it may be. I just wish there was a way for us to do things concerning faith and god together. but for now I guess I’m just believing that maybe god wants it this way for a reason, maybe to not rely on someone else to grow in my faith. I know that sounds like alot! I guess I needed a place to talk. The smoking is the biggest challenge on my mind lately though. I obsess over it but haven’t been able to make it any better
Hi Maria,
I’m so glad you wrote. I have never smoked but I have family and friends who have and I know it’s a tough habit to break. I talked with someone close to me who gave up smoking and she suggested that you make sure you replace the smoking with something else, like exercise or a hobby or something else that you can focus on when you want to smoke. Be sure to check out Military OneSource for tips and articles (search on Smoking – I found lots of content they have for you).
As far as your husband, I know it must be tough not to be on the same page spiritually. But you’re right, you can only work on yourself and your own relationship to God and trying to change him into who you wish him to be won’t work. Let me encourage you to find a good church in your community to go to, or call some of the churches in your community and find out who has a good women’s ministry and maybe join a Bible study. I know God will show you the answers to your questions if you seek Him.
Hopefully other ladies may have some thoughts for you as well.
Sara
I have to agree with smileymojo about loneliness. I usually don’t have a problem finding friends and seem to connect pretty quickly. This duty station has been more difficult. Maybe because of its size. I don’t know. It’s very difficult to get past “surface level” conversations here. My husband will be deploying soon and I’ve cried several times about what am I going to do. Who will I hang out with? I am involved with many things on post, but again it’s just the “surface level” conversations. I’m doing my best to trust in God to provide what I need in this next year, but I have to admit the loneliness can be very overwhelming at times.